Rental Poison

I said we were a story for ever after

she said we were words in the wind

i had wrote her a song and now my heart I can’t rescind,

Those words, oh so gentle

Oh her faces when we sinned.

and it seems our love was rental,

wish I never touched your poison skin.

Your poison skin which burned my lips

with every word spoken,

as we connected at the hip

and now my heart is broken.

My golden gifts you parade like a token

from an emotionless conquest

with three words left unspoken.

I love you.

I don’t mean those words anymore

but they used to be true.

They used to be true before you emptied your drawer,

Don’t come here again

Your lies darken my door.

And don’t take that tone, don’t you fucking complain,

You knew what you were doing

Poison runs in your veins.

And experience has spoken, you can only cause pain.

Spreading your lies and your hate shall be your undoing,

that damn toxic lifestyle

you keep on pursuing.

And in the end, I hope it’s worthwhile

when your beauty has faded

and so has your smile.

Hey! So people seemed to appreciate the poetry back when I was posting it so I figured I’d upload some more ^-^ some will be happy and some shall be sad depending on what point in my life they were written, please treat my work kindly! ✨✌🏼

Peace, love, and tranquil vibes!

C.C.

Back At It!!

Wow I seem to be pretty bad at staying at this. I lasted for a few weeks but all of a sudden I realized it’s been a week since I blogged and I don’t really remember stopping. Well, I mean I do since I mentioned I may not be posting for a bit but I didn’t think it’d last an entire week! Regardless though, I had a pretty great trip. We went out to the clubs, danced the night away, stumbled home, and binged the first three seasons of Game Of Thrones. I refused to watch the show until now since I read the books and all of the character just looked wrong and I couldn’t stop holding each episode up to books and well, they were good but just couldn’t match up to the novels.

Anyways I think I might attempt writing a book. I keep finding myself reading away my hours in every ounce of spare time so my days are just slipping me by. I’m starting to wonder if i’ve read enough over the years to just up and write a fiction book. I’ve got a few different ideas but I can’t entirely decide on which one i’d like to start with. That’s my biggest problem, i’d get halfway through and then get super hyped up for a new book idea and start working on that one instead. It would just continue happening resulting in tons of unfinished books. Although then again I try to be rather positive and uplifting on this blog so mayhaps i’ll just take to it like a duck to water!

Even if i’m not a natural at it i’d like to continue working away on writing a book. There are so many worlds in my mind that i’d love to share with people, so many stories, so many lives. I’m not properly sure I can do them justice with my words but i’ll strive to get there someday! Did you know that the reason Stephen King has written so many books is because he just sat down and wrote a minimum of two pages a day every single day? That’s it. That’s the secret. Just keep working on it and eventually you’ll get there. Plus there are so many people out there who’ve taken the time to write books, it may not be the simplest thing in the world but by golly it certainly can’t be the hardest due to the sheer volume of new books published every day.

I think i’d like to write fantasy but what sort of fantasy should I write? Something kind of like a Miyazaki movie? Or maybe a bit darker like a Game of Thrones gritty realism type of fantasy? I just can’t decide, but i’ll get there! And of course i’ll keep you all updated on how the writing process goes, maybe even post the occasional excerpts.

Have any of you ever tried writing a book? If so than what’d you write about? Was it fiction or non-fiction? Was it just a short fanfiction type of thing or did you actually go the whole nine yards and go through finding a publisher and having your book pop up on the shelves of stores? I can’t help but feel that it’s so wonderfully exciting, writing books I mean. You’re literally creating worlds, populating those worlds, and then allowing others to bear witness to tales from that world. I’m just a huge fan of all the power found within the written word!

Anyways how was this for a comeback post eh? Maybe not the best since i’m still just talking about my personal life somewhat rather than giving ‘articles’ about different tips and tricks which have been done thousands of times over. Of course they haven’t been done by me yet so i’ll gladly put my spin on them but I don’t really want that to be the bulk of my posting. It just feels so impersonal on a platform where I feel the most moved to be personal, but they’re necessary and i’m always a fan of spreading information!

As always i’d like to wish you all peace, love, and some of those amazingly wonderful tranquil vibes!

C.C.

Train Travel

Don’t you enjoy that feeling of travel? The swaying of a train’s compartments as you barrel along the track, that mild panic of ‘Is this the right line? Am I going to miss it?’, followed by that relief of accepting that you’re on and locked in for your destination so correct or not that’s where you’re going. I love those feelings. They’re just so incredibly terrifying but addicting to me!

I love walking on to the train and discovering if you’re going to have company on your journey. Discovering what sort of person that company is going to be. Where are they going? Where did they come from? Will they join you in conversation or just plug some earbuds in resulting in both of you tuning the other out and just jamming to music. I love all of that, it’s just so wonderfully exciting to me. Especially when it’s not just localized to a single country because then you get strangers from all over the world! Oh the places they’ve been and the stories they could tell.

If anyone was wondering what spurred this latest post well, currently I’m on a Via Rail train straight out from Toronto. Why am I blogging instead of enjoying the window view you may ask? Well the lottery of partners passengers ended up with me having a rather demurely pretty woman who’s age I estimate to be within a couple years of mine, she’s got amazingly porcelain skin though so of course she needs to close the curtain over the window to stay out of the tanning rays of sunlight! I don’t mind when this happens by the way, it just makes the trip peaceful/productive in a different way than staring out the window and soaking up the sunlight, it certainly makes it so you have a smaller chance of overheating though!

I always seem to find interesting ways to occupy my time on trains. The last time I was on a train I was coming back from Quebec City and I was separated from my family sitting with this college student that turned out to be a criminal psychologist student, I remember she wasn’t a huge fan of the program though and had been talking about transferring at some point. Not sure if she ever got around to it though. Ah well.

Trains are a wonderful place for people watching in my opinion. There’s all sorts of people from different walks of life seated all around you, bi-lingual stewards/stewardesses walking up and down the train, there’s often not going to ever be a bland train car. Like you’re very, very, very, likely to never get on a train that’s only filled with people of a single demographic. It’s just not going to happen, the odds are astronomical.

Anyways, what do you all love about trains? Do you like their look? The feel of taking a journey by train? How it’s slightly old timey? Heck, maybe you enjoy that clickety clack of the train barreling over the rails. Whatever it is though, I feel we can all agree that trains are a pretty wonderful form of travel that both relaxing, and convenient.

Peace, love, and tranquil vibes,

C.C.

The First Wrinkle

Well dang, there I was doing so well at making an obligatory post without missing a single day before this happened. Even with that cold I still managed to put some stuff out even though it wasn’t super long or fact filled. Well there’s the first of a new category of lessons, we all fall down sometimes. We all have lapses in priority or concentration. But that’s okay.

Sure we all fall down sometimes and sure some of us take a little bit longer to get back up, but the fact of the matter is; we always get up again. Falling down; failure, is practically a requirement of learning. Eventually you may get to the point where a fall feels more like a stumble than an actual fall! A point where by the time you’ve begun falling you’re already started on picking yourself back up again!

I’m back to travelling around a little bit, even though it’s still within the borders of Canada. Today I’m off to London! It’s a lot smaller than Toronto but it’s got great people, a lot of my high school friends went to college there, and it’s got some delightful little clubs! I’d recommend Lavish if you were in a clubbing mood while visiting, it’s got a much nicer and more welcoming vibe than most of the other clubs I’ve visited there. Plus it’s lgbtq+ so however you identify you should be welcomed with open arms!

I’ll be running around the city a bunch over the next few days so we’ll see if I manage to snap some cool pictures of the area. I make no promises though since I’m planning to be mostly indoors and since there shall be festivities I’m not sure how often I’ll have those quiet shutterbug moments. I’ll try to seek some of them out though, maybe a shot of a rooftop patio or something haha.

Anyways it’s going to be great getting back into the swing of things, I’ll be trying to once again post once a day so things should pick right back up! And if not than I blame my London friends and I’ll be back up to a regular posting schedule the second I leave that place! I look forward to getting back in touch with all of you and making this blog begin to grow again! I hope you’ve all been growing in whatever aspects of life interest you as well!

Peace, love, and tranquil vibes,

C.C.

Shadows

Shadows creeping, world quieting, daily fire becomes snuffed out.

Silence growing, stillness surrounding, even a whisper becomes a shout.

This is my favourite time of day,

When peoples masks shed and the truth comes out to play.

There’s a certain tranquility in that frozen world the comes after day,

If we could remain anywhere, that’s where I’d stay.

Warm breeze blowing, gentle as a lovers touch, that warm windy caress, I love it so much.

There’s a perfect solitude that lasts for so long, it’s quick but eternal, yet suddenly gone.

The moment passes as the sky meets the sea, from that smooth tranquil hold, the world is set free.

This was a short one but it’s about my favourite time of day, it’s the most beautiful time in the world. Everything is still and silently beautiful, I love it.

Peace, love, and tranquil vibes,

C.C.

Drunk

You, spitting rain

Gap toothed grin

Arms still, mind shaking

Parched brain, glass breaking

Drunk.

That’s what you are, isn’t it?

Sloshed, sullied, inebriated, walking through an earthquake

‘No I’m fine’ he says as he trips down the hall.

Too pushy, arms wandering, eyes rolling, overconfident, there’s no way this teenage tower could fall, Drunk.

Less than honourable, girl passed out, wasted opportunity, just can’t pass by,

Hunk. That’s what you are isn’t it? Any girl should feel lucky to have you, that’s what she’ll say once you’re through,

Drunk.

Hazy memories, silk smooth skin, no resistance, glides on in,

We were both drunk.

So that makes it okay right?

It’s no issue because there wasn’t a fight right?

As if the mere lack of aggression excuses your action and means that she’s totally cool, and 100 per cent, down with it.

Drunk.

Pushed back, broken screaming, weight of a thousand actions, drips down your neck.

Girl shouting, dick shrinking, sobered up, prick now finally thinking,

Drunk.

As if any amount of liquor changes the weight of your actions.

Pain blossoms around your back, shins, face, actions that cannot erase, the damage you have done to this poor little girl.

Budding flower, chopped off, quickly wilting, barely thinking, just one word, why?

Why? Why? Why?

He was so normal, just another drunk guy, confusion, anger, hurt, breaks down just to cry, why?

Now I hear that he’s getting off since he’s on the hockey team and they’re expected to go pro.

He never finished getting off so there’s no harm in letting him go.

No one cares about that little girl

Who can’t even go outside without wanting to hurl, dirty.

She rubs herself thin, rapidly removing painted skin, can’t even look at a guy, everyone she looks at seems like him,

Drunk.

Maybe she said yes and doesn’t remember, I mean look at him, star player, and he’s such a hunk.

She probably came onto him, since they were both drunk, gorgeous hockey player, every word just deepens her funk.

No one believes her, ‘its fine he was drunk’, as if that excuses his actions and abuses, of a passed out girl. What the fuck is this world.

This is an old slam I wrote ages ago. ✌🏼

C.C.

Fingers Crossed

I’ve got an audition tomorrow morning and currently getting over a cold so right now I need to just head to bed and pray to whatever powers may be that my throat heals up overnight along with this stuffed up nose.

I’ll let you all know how it went afterwards, it’s the first of two opportunities I’ve got over the next few days. Keep searching out how to open those doors people! Keep advancing! Everyday, even when you’re sick, you’re still advancing in life. Don’t let time spent become a regret, never stop moving, evolving.

Anyways keep it real and do your best to live in the moment, we’re all divine beings, we’ve got this!

Peace, love, and tranquil vibes all,

C.C.

The Habit Of Slacking Off.

If you’re like me than you’re always giving yourself lazy days, either due to mood or just lack of motivation. However the key to motivation is simply having No Zero Days; If you need a break day than that’s fine however you don’t need the whole day for just laying around. I suppose I should explain that a Zero Day is a day where you just don’t seem to advance in any of your core goals, like it’s a day of no improvement, a lazy day. Well I absolutely love having lazy days they really do detract from living in the moment unfortunately.

However, forgive yourself for being lazy. It happens but we should never dwell on it, dwelling just creates a negative feedback loop so don’t think bad on yourself for it. That was then, this is now. It’s okay, just forgive yourself and move on. So many people, myself included need to just start taking things one day at a time. There is no future. The future is a concept that doesn’t exist, there is always just the Now. The Happening. So work on just a few things today, for without starting there will never be any progress. 

Living in the now is such an easy concept but most of us struggle at putting it into practice. However I recently stumbled across a spiritual video that taught me an easy trick for it which has made things so much easier. When you find yourself drifting off from the now, simply ask yourself why? You wouldn’t have drifted unless something was subconsciously expected so what are you missing? Look around, breathe, take in the world around you. Usually it’s so simple to find once you start looking, and bam! You’re in the moment, no longer with your mind in the future going over potential never will be’s.

Honestly i’ve just been feeling super strong hippie vibes lately. Spent a whole day researching communes for shared living and it’s just such an incredibly interesting lifestyle to me, maybe one day i’ll visit one and vlog as well as write about it for you all. I would have to vlog since I fear i’d be unable to capture it’s beauty simply with my keyboard. Part of me is also thinking about learning more about Hinduism; i’m a big fan of Vishuddha Das, Dakota Wint, and Danny Moon Hawk so i’ve just been witnessing this like, glow of healing light and spirituality and it’s like, ‘I gotta get me some of that.’ you know?

These days I constantly feel like i’m prepping for things yet putting them off in exchange for more preparation and thinking which prompted me to make this post. For example, one day i’d like to be able to at least supplement my income through writing posts and posting videos. However i’m always just thinking/second guessing myself about any video I think of making, to a lesser extent with the blogging since I feel as if i’ve taken to this process of writing something out daily like a fish to water. So maybe what I need is to just take that leap and start making videos as well, then I began thinking of applying that to most of my life, leading to pondering on living in the moment. Mayhaps a slightly convoluted thought process but it doesn’t matter.

Anyways i’m starting to ramble and future talk rather than keeping an in the moment mindset so i’m going to round this post off here today. Keep living in the moment and keep expanding your knowledge every day! Keep striving towards your best self, whatever that may be for you!

Peace, love, and tranquil vibes,

C.C.

The Boy In A Thunderstorm.

Do you ever feel like you’re freefalling and everything and everyone you’ve ever known or loved is just slipping past your fingertips as you desperately try to regain control?

Cause that’s what I feel like.

I feel like everyone else’s life cycle resembles that of a raindrop, a slow steady fall where they can be lifted and spun around by wind’s encompassing embrace; I feel like a bolt of lightning.

Screams out, dashing down to the ground as quickly as possible

But in all actuality it’s my impact that hits first before they hear my words.

By the time I gather the strength to cry out it’s already happened.

The only thing left is a memory of the scream and maybe an afterimage if you were looking at me.

..it’s all very, brief.

Short lived.

By the time you blink me out of your eyes it’ll be like I never was.

A tiny mark on the ground for where my body landed.

And even this will be washed away in time by the rain I call my friends.

For isn’t that what rain does?

Washes away and purifies?

Though if we go with that

Does that not mean by proxy I was impure?

And if I was impure how does that speak of those who came before me?

The brief bolts of lightning who seared themselves into my brain leaving only a brief afterimage in my memories

A little mark.

Perhaps that is why lightning is forked?

So we can revisit the spots of those who came before

And those who will come again.

Perhaps that is also why the rain resembles teardrops,

they both came from the same place but took different fates

and still the rain will linger as dew drops until it yet too drops,

Just like i did

Only slower.

I cannot conceive which to be the worse fate

That of the rain

Or the one that I take.

.

Well my ear thing fixed itself but now I’ve come down with a cold two days before a commercial audition, really hope it clears up in time or there’s minimal chance I’ll actually get the part. Ugh, why world? Why?

C.C.

I Missed A Flower

I missed a flower.

Not just any but the most

amazing and beautiful

Prettiest penny,

And by a penny I mean to say she’s tiny and finding her in your arms is considered lucky.

I like to think that you resemble a beautiful red rose,

That is to say I clutch you to my chest regardless of the thorns.

You don’t want to hurt me but your spikes keep my wound closed.

A nice dull ache as you’re rooted in ground, I prefer to endure this love loss I’ve found,

Rather than throw the pain away

I’ll keep it in my heart

And love for another day.

.

Than risk bleeding to death without you. Without new. I find flowers enhance their beauty as they slowly fade away.

Please don’t fade on me

But if you do, than that’s okay.

You’ve been rooted before and rooted you’ll stay, I know you’ll bloom again one day.

Even if it’s not for me, but that’s okay. As long as they love you.

.

Here’s once again a different emotion/flavour of poem, I’ll get back to posting more article type posts soon but for now people have been enjoying the poems so they shall continue to pop up!

Peace, love, and tranquil vibes,

C.C.