Happy With What You’ve Got But Strive For..

My apologies for missing another day’s post! Some friends of mine dropped by for the night so we ended up losing track of time. Oddly enough we all woke up with slight hangovers.. I wonder why? On a totally unrelated topic, Peach Bellini is incredibly delicious. Like really, really dealicious. Of course mayhaps the cheap hipster beers also had something to do with it, maybe. ^-^

Anyways do you ever have those nights where you just sit in the dark all alone with your computer/phone/tablet, earbuds in or headphones on, and some beautiful music taking you out of your body. I love getting lost in the music. It’s like your laptop screen and it’s little glow become the only things in existence. It’s just so incredibly tranquil; I wish I could carry the feeling of it throughout an entire day. It would be so much easier to do anything without caring about others opinions, but alas that’s why we have the phrase social anxiety.

A friend of mine on instagram is often laughing or out having a fun time while livestreaming it all. For ages i’ve wondered how she manages to keep that smile up every day, like some of those days have to be a mask right? She can’t truly always be that happy. But then I was scrolling through their insta story and there was a certain quote she once heard that she attributes it all to, it’s so wonderfully simple, but powerful words nonetheless “If you want a happy life you just gotta be happy with what you got, but still strive for better.” It’s certainly not wrong, although it should also include meditation! 😛

As a species I feel like we need to become better at living in the moment. Like essential day to day mindfulness has become such a minor thing now that we’re all caught up with planning things months in advance and constantly rushing to things. We spend so much time living in the future that we’re becoming less grounded, needing our phones or at least something attention grabbing to be happening in order for us to truly be paying attention to, experiencing, and being present in, the moment. The now. I don’t remember who said it (although it may be from Kung Fu Panda) “The past is history, the future is a mystery, and the now is a gift which is why we call it the present.” Now that i’m thinking about it I feel like it’s Master Oogway, but regardless it’s a wonderful expression.

It’s a wonderful feeling to still see new people popping up regardless of my few missed days, I appreciate you! It’s about 4AM where i’m at so I feel like I should probably head to bed soon, I mean i’m not that tired but I feel kind of out of sorts so I know my mind’s exhausted. I love when friends drop by, but by golly people that don’t slow down and enjoy life along with the natural silences that come from a lull in a conversation are exhausting! Such is the curse of an introvert, craving other people but like a cat you’ll, after an indeterminate amount of time just be like ‘yep, these people exist but i’m just going to go chill over there with like a book or something.’ the isolation allows us to recharge our batteries you could say. I’ll crave physical contact but just casually chill in my room meditating and reading instead of seeking it, I mean not all the time, i’ll sometimes end up texting people and being enticed out with the promise of food haha.

Anyways keep spreading the Peace, Love, and those Tranquil Vibes everyone!

C.C.

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Shadows

Shadows creeping, world quieting, daily fire becomes snuffed out.

Silence growing, stillness surrounding, even a whisper becomes a shout.

This is my favourite time of day,

When peoples masks shed and the truth comes out to play.

There’s a certain tranquility in that frozen world the comes after day,

If we could remain anywhere, that’s where I’d stay.

Warm breeze blowing, gentle as a lovers touch, that warm windy caress, I love it so much.

There’s a perfect solitude that lasts for so long, it’s quick but eternal, yet suddenly gone.

The moment passes as the sky meets the sea, from that smooth tranquil hold, the world is set free.

This was a short one but it’s about my favourite time of day, it’s the most beautiful time in the world. Everything is still and silently beautiful, I love it.

Peace, love, and tranquil vibes,

C.C.

The Boy In A Thunderstorm.

Do you ever feel like you’re freefalling and everything and everyone you’ve ever known or loved is just slipping past your fingertips as you desperately try to regain control?

Cause that’s what I feel like.

I feel like everyone else’s life cycle resembles that of a raindrop, a slow steady fall where they can be lifted and spun around by wind’s encompassing embrace; I feel like a bolt of lightning.

Screams out, dashing down to the ground as quickly as possible

But in all actuality it’s my impact that hits first before they hear my words.

By the time I gather the strength to cry out it’s already happened.

The only thing left is a memory of the scream and maybe an afterimage if you were looking at me.

..it’s all very, brief.

Short lived.

By the time you blink me out of your eyes it’ll be like I never was.

A tiny mark on the ground for where my body landed.

And even this will be washed away in time by the rain I call my friends.

For isn’t that what rain does?

Washes away and purifies?

Though if we go with that

Does that not mean by proxy I was impure?

And if I was impure how does that speak of those who came before me?

The brief bolts of lightning who seared themselves into my brain leaving only a brief afterimage in my memories

A little mark.

Perhaps that is why lightning is forked?

So we can revisit the spots of those who came before

And those who will come again.

Perhaps that is also why the rain resembles teardrops,

they both came from the same place but took different fates

and still the rain will linger as dew drops until it yet too drops,

Just like i did

Only slower.

I cannot conceive which to be the worse fate

That of the rain

Or the one that I take.

.

Well my ear thing fixed itself but now I’ve come down with a cold two days before a commercial audition, really hope it clears up in time or there’s minimal chance I’ll actually get the part. Ugh, why world? Why?

C.C.

I Missed A Flower

I missed a flower.

Not just any but the most

amazing and beautiful

Prettiest penny,

And by a penny I mean to say she’s tiny and finding her in your arms is considered lucky.

I like to think that you resemble a beautiful red rose,

That is to say I clutch you to my chest regardless of the thorns.

You don’t want to hurt me but your spikes keep my wound closed.

A nice dull ache as you’re rooted in ground, I prefer to endure this love loss I’ve found,

Rather than throw the pain away

I’ll keep it in my heart

And love for another day.

.

Than risk bleeding to death without you. Without new. I find flowers enhance their beauty as they slowly fade away.

Please don’t fade on me

But if you do, than that’s okay.

You’ve been rooted before and rooted you’ll stay, I know you’ll bloom again one day.

Even if it’s not for me, but that’s okay. As long as they love you.

.

Here’s once again a different emotion/flavour of poem, I’ll get back to posting more article type posts soon but for now people have been enjoying the poems so they shall continue to pop up!

Peace, love, and tranquil vibes,

C.C.

An Odd Perspective.

Isn’t it weird knowing there’s people out there reading your words and opinions? I mean I get that’s how it usually is with social media posts but this just has a different feel, you know? I don’t usually do research for future social media posts either, as opposed to this. I remember, that one of my first posts had me mentioning that i’d talk about odd perspectives at some point. Well I feel like tonight/today is a day for one of those posts.

Have you ever stood on a street corner waiting for the lights, and become consciously aware of every single person around you? Followed by becoming insanely hyper focused on every single little movement your body makes but every movement feels wrong, even if you’re just standing there? It’s not a fun experience. I find social anxiety aided me in becoming really good at reading body language just so it could turn around to start misreading stuff whenever the anxiety hits.

Have you ever walked down to a huge exciting event all on your lonesome? Your whole world feels slightly muted, tilted. There’s a film over anything you hear somehow distancing it and the people pass by you in slow motion on their way to the spectacle. You arrive after following the families and teeming throngs of people just to wait around standing up, surrounded by random groups of people all talking to each other. This goes on for about twenty-eight minutes, some random dj no one has ever heard of does a short set. Making it through that and clapping politely even though you’re impatient for the main event. The fireworks go off. The sky is so beautiful, the world just falls away. Then it’s over. You’ve fallen back to earth with the other awakening people as the spell gets broken with lack of an encore. Everyone goes home. You go home. The families walk past and around you. You’re a solitary stranger in this sea of communities. You slip off to home, unsatisfied but in a way still content.

I love to watch the world wake up. Just sitting on your porch watching the sun rise, the gentle wind hugs your skin. You can see everything start to breathe, the birds begin to fly overhead. A solitary car speeds by, yet the world is still. It’s like a moving painting, or at the very least art. The rustle of leaves in a gentle gust of wind, the morning fog burning off as the sun continues to rise. The world turns gold and crimson, with just a dash of orange. Everything just feels so incredibly peaceful, you’re at one with the world. But at the same time it makes you feel like nothing is real. There are no people moving aside from the distant cars, it’s like being in a twilight zone which now that i’m thinking of it is probably part of where that movie got it’s name. I like plugging into the world that way, I always feel so refreshed afterwards regardless of usually having had to miss out on some sleep. It’s even better with a tea, beer, cider, or some sort of quiet smokable object. You don’t want to break the tranquil morning silence, and with a drink you can meditate on the warm feeling in you chest and the warmth from the sun on your face. Recharge your spirit.

Have you ever managed to separate yourself from that constantly talking voice in your head that we usually call our thoughts? If you try a little bit and meditate on forcing it to repeat a mantra, you’ll notice that you’re still observing. In that moment the thoughts almost feel separate from that greater sense of ‘you’. I’m not really sure what one would call that, it’s not an ego death but I guess in a way it’s an ego separation from your conscious thoughts? I’m not sure what it’s properly called but it’s an absolutely amazing experience. Feeling that divide, that autonomy it has. The way it twists and struggle to form itself into different words or thoughts than those of the mantra you’re making it repeat, you can feel it fighting you, almost as if it were alive. Which I mean technically it is because it’s part of you but dang it’s a pretty odd perspective that’s also really neat!

I wonder where we go when we zone out. Like those moments where you’re in a really long car ride so you just put in some earbuds and stare out the window listening to music until you arrive at your destination. It’s like your mind goes blank and you’re just out of it for the entire ride, in a trance. But definitely not asleep. Sometimes I like to think of that simulation theory, which basically says since everything is connected to our brains than what’s to say we’re not all just floating in some jar as just a blob of brain being fed information for a life. Moments like that are just holes in the matrix. Another neat theory is that you could be reliving every single moment of your life right now thinking it’s for the first time, hence why you might get deja vu sometimes. And by reliving I meant you’re dying and this is your life flashing before your eyes. It’s theorized that time would almost slow to a crawl as your brain tried it’s best to just relive everything in those few moments before the light fully leaves your eyes. It’s obvious that some of those more inconsequential moments would get fast forwarded in order to maximize whatever it deems important or a ‘core’ memory.

I think those are all of the odd perspective for now but I might make this a running thing. Maybe have one or two odd perspectives per week? I love odd perspectives, most of the time they’re just an amazingly artsy way of looking at the world. Always seek to look at the world through new eyes. There’s so much to see depending on where you look in from, so clear your mind, open your heart, and see. See those beautiful moments of tranquility that exist in daily life, seek them out, enjoy them to the fullest!

Spread the love, peace, and chill vibes,

C.C.

A Brief Introduction To Meditation.

I was recently having a conversation with my roommate about stress and ways to deal with it, at some point in the conversation meditation was brought up and he told me that he couldn’t meditate. This flabbergasted me. I understand that meditation isn’t for everyone but the way he said it, as if he couldn’t meditate even if he wanted to just really threw me for a loop. We talked about it for a little bit and he mentioned how he could never focus on something in his mind or constantly visualize something like pure whiteness. We eventually moved on to other topics but those words never really managed to leave my head. So without further ado, here’s a brief introduction to different forms of meditation!

I find that there’s this huge misconception over meditating where if you’re still thinking than you’re not doing it properly. I’ve always been brought up with the belief that meditation and clearing your mind are two separate but still related things. When you clear your mind you would usually do so by visualizing a static image or a colour with no end in sight and you’d train yourself to hold that state for longer and longer periods of time enhancing your focus. However you don’t really need to do that for meditation, indeed it is a form of the art but not the only way. Meditation can be as simple as freeing yourself from judging your thoughts, watch them come and go without attaching yourself to them, notice that the voice in your head can keep going without conscious direction, just become aware. The more you focus on observing your own inner voice the deeper you’ll dive inside your own mind, twenty minutes later you’ll suddenly realize you fell into a trance at some point. Maybe just for a single minute or two but with time and focus you’ll find the way back to that state gets easier and easier.

An extremely helpful tool which has a long history of being used for this exact purpose would be mantras. A mantra can be as simple as repeated “Ommmm” noises, something more illustrious like “Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare”. Basically just use whatever resonates the most with you, what gives you a sense of connection or draws you in. Sometimes in the middle of a session you might even be struck by some sort of profound realization or thought which leads you to changing your mantra to something more personalized or some sort of universal truth in which you feel a connection. I know there was a point in time where I used to repeat “There is no self there is only energy, there is no divide, everything is energy.” and to this day no mantra has helped me more. Within moments of it’s repetition i’d lose that feeling of where my skin ended and the air began, there wasn’t even a conscious realization of disconnection, everything just shifted and you could almost feel that collective consciousness. It was beautiful.

If mantras aren’t really your thing than i’d recommend just breathing, which is honestly harder than it sounds. Get yourself into a position that feels nice and comfy, one where you won’t feel the urge to move or fidget for a little bit. Now this form of meditation I like to think of as just extensive body awareness and at some point in your life you’ve probably followed along with an audio which had similar instructions. Breathe in. Breathe out. Feel the air as it gets drawn into your lungs causing your chest to rise, taste the air, naturally exhale somewhat slower than normal. Begin to relax your muscles starting with the ones in your face and working your way all the way down through your body. Devote complete attention to relaxing each of your muscles as you continue to breathe, feel all that tension leaving you, just feel it and breathe, keep breathing. If you managed to keep focus on your breathing and being fully in tune with your body as you worked your way through your muscles than congratulations, odds are at some point you slipped into a meditative state during this exercise! Remember that feeling, as with anything the more you practice it the easier it’ll be.

If none of these ways worked for you than i’m not sure what to tell you. I would call even just stepping back and watching your thoughts as an observer a form of meditation so maybe just start from there and work your way up? Just because you had difficulty with your first few attempts doesn’t mean that meditation doesn’t work for you/won’t work for you, just like any skill you need to recognize that meditation will take time and practice to learn. Are there specific problems you notice when you try and meditate? If so than let me know, maybe we can solve them together. ^-^

“There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.” ~Buddha

Peace and tranquility,

C.C.

Stone Serenity