“Thought is powerful in all phases. Even in my career, even in my life things end up exactly as I visualized them.”Nipsey Hussle
I know I briefly touched on this in my old post Somewhat Solution To The Sad Times but I felt it needed to be touched on again due to recent events. What do you do on those days where you just don’t feel like getting out of bed? The days where your whole entire being feels heavy, weighed down by the chemicals in your head. By chemicals i’m referring to the imbalance which causes depression. Depression is something i’ve known like a brother for the past 8-9 years, it crept up with just the occasional downswing to show it was coming. Before I knew it, it decided to move in. Things went from just feeling heavy and struggling to get out of bed, to the word suicide holding the same connotation in my head as a puppy. Things got extremely bad, but after several stupid decisions and a few failed actions, I began to gain some acceptance of this life.
Obviously I must be meant to be here regardless of my thoughts otherwise on the matter, else i’d already be long gone. The feelings have never truly gone away and I can always feel those thoughts lurking in the back of my mind, sneaking in any time they notice a point of weakness. It’s alright though, i’ve come to welcome this duality into my life. So many hours spent on thoughts about death and dying just serve to contrast the brighter parts of life making them even more evident. Surrendering to the universe i’ve decided whatever will happen will happen, and the moment I made that decision it was as if I was no longer carrying as heavy of a weight! So i’m not sure if depression ever goes away for those of us who are truly depressed, but I have learned that if you can change the way you see and interact with your depression than it WILL get easier. Even if just by a tiny bit.
I find it’s helpful to set tasks for yourself, just little things that force you out of bed at some point in the day. Once you’re out of bed allow yourself the comfort of a nice long warm shower, but make sure not to let your mind wander too much into heavier territory, just focus on the sensations of the water pounding your back, the steam caressing your skin, the warmth enveloping your bones; be present in the moment. Grab some earbuds and go for a short walk around your neighbourhood. Breathe in some deep breaths of fresh air savouring the feeling of freshness, feel a light breeze wrap around you in the ghost of a hug from mother earth, listen to those birds crying out their joy for life to the world, feel the warmth of the sun on your face; lose yourself in it. Once again these are all just different ways to stay present in the moment, but really that’s one of the most beneficial things you can do when you’re under siege by your own head.
For a time I tried using various forms of escapism before I realized what I was doing, and while they did allow me to step away from my thoughts I would always be right back with them afterwards without anything to truly show for it. I devoured books at an insane pace, plowing through multiple series in a week, I binged thousand of anime episodes, countless tv shows, movies, devoted insane amounts of hours into video games. But you know what? None of that was ever more than a temporary fix, a patch job, a band-aid on a gaping head wound. They would somewhat delay the end result but they wouldn’t have any other benefits. I mean I guess I could argue some of my writing ability came from all of that reading but seeing as most of it was fantasy I didn’t really learn much which couldn’t be found in an english class room over a much considerably shorter span of time.
So if things are going bad, like game over time to start a new file level bad. Change something in your life. Please stop waiting for others to come and help you, stop wallowing in the sadness, reveling in the sad music, vibing along to words of knives and bullets through the head. Stop running past scenarios over and over again in your head focusing on that empty, hollow, throbbing pain inside your chest. Please. None of that’s going to help you and just giving in and letting it swallow you up will be something you’ll always regret. Forever looking back and wondering exactly when things got so bad that you decided you didn’t want this life anymore. And I truly hate more than anything that people can relate to feeling this way, if there’s anyone reading this who hasn’t already done so and they’re feeling like they’re standing at an edge of a precipice, please, please, please confide in just a few people. Even if just one or two, allow them to help you hold that weight on your shoulders, and if you don’t have anyone to turn to than find someone! Your parents, therapists, a community of strangers online, new friends, whichever you choose just please don’t try to go it alone, I can tell you from experience that it never works well. And if you choose to go it alone, well if you’re one of the lucky ones you’ll live with the scars over your soul thinking of all you’ve done or tried to do because of this illness. Please don’t do that to yourself, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
I started this post planning to write about different things I do to lift my mood when i’m feeling low, instead I spent my time opening up about things I never expected to be telling random strangers on the internet. But the thought of this post helping even just a single person by giving them something to relate to, well it makes it something I almost feel as if I HAVE to post. If opening up about my past experiences and telling life stories to strangers has a chance to help people than the decision is an easy one. Which is kind of odd for me to think about because growing up I was an extremely private person who would go to great lengths in order to avoid opening up to anyone outside of my super close-knit friend group, heck even they didn’t know everything about me! In fact I specifically remember one of them talking to me about how they’d never seen me truly angry or sad and they complimented me on always being so calm even though that was the base emotion I had decided to put forward and wear like armor; I didn’t want anyone knowing exactly how broken I felt every day, and you know what it’s done for me? It led to two of my friends taking their own lives feeling there was no one they could relate to when all along I was right there and could have talked to them about it. Don’t put yourself in a position like that, I promise you it’ll feel like poison in your soul.
Anyways this got extremely dark and i’m super sorry for all of that everyone! Please try to always take the time to look after your earthly bodies as well as your spiritual half, their duality is what allows us this beautiful human experience. I wish each and every one of you the very best and I hope you continue moving forwards through this life! If you’re ever feeling really low and just need someone to talk to than shoot me a message over on instagram @fadetostay and i’ll do my best to get back to you. Continue living in the moment and spreading the peace, love, and those beautiful tranquil vibes!
So today’s post is going to be about a few different sources of inspiration for me. Each of the people i’m going to talk about have helped me along on my spiritual journey and even with realizing new goals and directions with where I want to go in this life. I feel we can always stand to learn something from others, we even subconsciously desire to do so! Hence why we’re always asking what’s up or crawling through people’s social media; we’re trying to learn things about each other but really that’s just the desire to learn things FROM each other in a different skin.
We evolved as a community and now we’re all so divided, no one want to learn things anymore they just wish to get school over with, get a job, and video game their life away in their spare time, or spend it all watching whatever pops up on the tv. I don’t understand living like that. I mean I know statistically the odds of that being someone’s goal life are pretty high considering how many humans there are but I don’t want that nine to five, cubicle life-style. It’s just not for me, I don’t want to shrivel away in the same places, day after day, repetitive task after task. I need the wind in my hair, a pen/laptop/camera/phone in my hand, some sort of connection to the earth, new foods, new people, and new locations. I want to wander for a while, just start moving for a while before I get too rooted.
Anyways, onto the inspirational people!
Danny *Moon Hawk* is an absolute blessing. For those of you who don’t know he makes Vlogs and Music along with the occasional live stream. Sometimes he’ll post medicine music, original music, or crazy travel vlogs but no matter the content they’re always wonderful to watch. Even his vlogs of Envision festival make it look so peaceful and tranquil, he just manages to give off this warm vibe somehow. Highly recommend checking him and his content out; You can support him by following his Instagram, subscribing on YouTube, and if you want to help fund future endeavours he’s even on Patreon. Patreon has exclusive content of his and you can do as little as a single dollar a month as every little bit helps! If you can’t afford it than no worries, but show this wonderful human some love!
Dakota Wint is also amazing, him and Danny team up sometimes and their dynamic is great. Dakota is an incredibly inspirational travel vlogger, poet, writer with a huge following on YouTube as well as a clothing brand named Stay Happy Stay Weird. He recently branched over to doing podcasts with the series being called A Place For Humans, highly recommend giving them a listen or at least checking out his various medias. There’s all sorts of good stuff to be found there including entertainment, chill vibes, spiritual teaching, community, just highly, highly recommend checking him out and showing him some love. You won’t regret it, especially if you’re a fan of Koi Fresco (Vishuddha Das) or Jason VeeOneEye, and you’ll definitely love him if you enjoy Danny’s content.
If you’ve never heard of Vishuddha Das (Koi Fresco) and you’re really into spirituality or Carl Sagan than I would recommend heading over to KoisCorner on YouTube for an amazing spiritual education vlogger as well as an author. Honestly even his social media is just such a great motivator and source of inspiration. He’ll be dropping bit of knowledge there on the daily and he has a pretty interesting life story that he focuses on in his book A (Not) So Enlightened Youth. His other book is called The Meditation Manual and in fact, Koi is hosting a meditation retreat in the next few months over in India which looks like an amazing experience!
I mainly just wanted to talk about those three today but i’ll give an honorable mention to Jungle Man Sam, Infinite Waters, Matthew Silver, and AshSayer. Oh and if you need any or just enjoy them than check out HairWrapsByAsh on instagram, she has a little shop set up and does wonderful work.
Who are some of the people that inspire your life? If you can’t think of any than start searching out inspiration, it’s such a wonderful motivator and source of positivity in this life! Listen to their advice, figure out how they got where they are today, and most importantly..
Keep spreading the peace, love, and tranquil vibes all,
I try not to do straight up lists for blog posts because I feel like i’m cheating myself when I do, they just don’t take much effort and are almost a dime a dozen. However there are occasions where I feel the need to make one, one of those occasions being now. This list is a list of various things which cheer me up a tiny bit or at least help lessen the sadness. Sad times come to us all and it doesn’t make you weak for breaking down, it makes you human. Don’t be afraid to be sad, feel every emotion as fully as you can; they’re what makes this human experience so incredible. But also try not to lurk in the sadness for too long, anyways, here’s what I usually find helps for me.
Just plug in some earbuds and go for a walk. That’s it. Just find a nice chill soundtrack that you enjoy, and breath in that fresh air. Personally I recommend anything from stereotypical hippy music to lo-fi hip hop, one pretty much spreads infectious joy and the other is amazing for thinking through whatever’s aiding you from like a distant perspective. I also believe fresh air helps in most situations, a closer connection to the energy of the earth.
Take off your shoes. Just find a nice warm bit of dirt, rock, sandy beach, or maybe a nice sun spot in a mossy forest. Just being barefoot and having that connection to the earth always feels so incredibly soothing. Plus like my last point, it gets you outside into the fresh air!
Pull out your phone, think of your favourite two shows, type them into google looking for crossover fics that aren’t just lemons. Ever wanted to see Harry Potter as part of The Avengers? Maybe Walking Dead with the characters from The Office? Or if you really need something entertaining search for crack fics, which are basically just sheer nonsensory parodies of whatever that fic is based off of. A personal favourite of mine is The Champion’s Champion by DriftWood1965, it’s a story where Harry lets Ron stand in for him as the triwizard tournament champion and involves fart jokes, giant canaries, and potentially a fire breathing duck. Honestly I highly recommend it although do be aware that they bash on Ron a bit.
Go to BulkBarn and buy some candy! Sure it’s indulging the kid in you but come on, everyone’s got a little bit of a sweet tooth and honestly you probably deserve a treat. That’s this point, indulge yourself. So many times do we neglect ourselves just trying to look after everything around us, while that’s a good thing to do we really need to stop and take more time to look after ourselves. I don’t just mean your physical health but your mental health too, destress! Unplug yourself. Get in touch with even the littlest things that you used to really enjoy but somehow ended up not doing over the years and you don’t really recall when you stopped, just that the habit is dead. Reconnect with yourself.
Honestly peeps, just watch some really adorable cat or dog videos. Heck, cuddle with an actual live cat or dog, or a bird, lizard, snake, whatever types of creatures you find adorable. The point i’m trying to make is there’s so much heckin cuteness out there and we need to enjoy it a little bit more.
Try to astral project. Maybe you’ll manage it, maybe you won’t. But i’m fairly confident it would at least take your mind off of whatever is ailing you. At least for a little bit. Plus as a bonus I find going to bed directly after trying to astral project is simply amazing, as your body is already in such a relaxed and out of it state.
Watch some Youtube videos. Find channels like Dakota Wint’s Dakota Of Earth. Find videos that make you happy, amuse you, distract you, allow you to escape from your life for a little while. Whatever intrigues you can probably be found on youtube, although i’d also recommend looking for binaural beats and meditating while listening to them.
You could also come and read blogs like mine, I mean i’m not one hundred percent certain that i’ll cheer you up but I hope I can at least ease the pain and be a distraction from whatever troubles you. Feel free to poke around my different posts, might find something more to read! There’s not a huge amount right now but i’m building it up at a steady rate, haven’t missed a single day yet! Really hope I didn’t just jinx myself with that one but ah well. I know this wasn’t much so i’ll probably post more on the topic later but that’s all for now.
Peace, love, and tranquil vibes people,
Do you ever just have those people who can just smile at you and you’re instantly cheered up? Like their physical presence is so intoxicatingly happy that you just can’t feel bad around them? I think of those people like human golden retrievers; I absolutely love golden retrievers. They just radiate such a warm happy feeling that you just melt around them. Get more people like that in your life, they’ll only ever give you positive vibes. That’s the life tip for this week.
We don’t love enough. I mean oh sure we bandy the word about whenever we please, but not so often do we actually love. We’ve retreated from loving full heartedly because we learned of the pain which could come of it. That needs to change. Love wholeheartedly, love with every fiber of your being! Don’t be afraid of getting swept away, don’t you ever be afraid of love! Sometimes it hurts but don’t hide that pain, wear it openly. Live proudly. Revel in your pain when love leaves for it tells you you’re alive, if you feel everything fully than sure the lows hurt, but the highs? Simply nirvana, there’s so much beauty if you just let yourself fully feel.
I hate walking around everyday watching people, people with their heart’s blocked up behind a stone wall for fear of being touched. They’ll text lol but they’re not really laughing, they’ll rave about something being hilarious and then just do a half smile while watching it. People jumping from partner to partner not feeling the loss because they never allowed themselves to truly form a connection. I don’t understand that lifestyle. If something’s funny than let your amusement spill out, if it’s hysterically funny than cry tears of laughter, or giggle, snort! Don’t use people to cover up the emptiness of the one before them, don’t tell someone you love them while you’re holding your heart close. Learn to feel again, learn to living again!
If anyone was wondering, yes I may have been watching a bunch of Matthew Silver clips before this. But I mean how could you not love him and be influenced by his message? There’s just so much positive energy that comes off that man it’s incredible! And you can watch him slowly affect everyone using that infectious sense of fun, amusement, enjoyment. Even the people who had originally been staring with a disapproving and disgruntled expression get sucked into the “Love fart magic” as he calls it. I’d just leave it at love, he’s constantly spreading love vibes. It’s admirable.
Someone asked me what happiness was and I couldn’t really decide how to answer the question. I’m still not sure how to answer the question. However I will say that happiness is amazing, something to strive for. But that really doesn’t actually help to answer what happiness actually is. I was tempted to give the medical answer but I knew that wasn’t what he meant. I think if i’d known what to tell him I would’ve said happiness is that warm fuzzy feeling you get when a kitten chooses to curl up in your lap. I would’ve said happiness is the warm feeling of the sun on your face and a warm, gentle breeze hugging your skin. Happiness is waking up to the smell of your favourite food knowing it was cooked just for you. I would’ve said happiness was so many things, but all I said was “You know when someone’s face lights up at seeing you?” and then he walked off the subway. I hope he’s doing well, wherever he ended up.
Spread love, seek tranquility, speak peace,
How do people always stay so completely dedicated to a task? Even when it’s something I really enjoy there’ll come a point in time where something else becomes super tempting and i’ll switch focus for a little bit. It’s like there’s always something dedicated to pulling you away from your work even if that something is just a sudden urge to clean your house, although that’s more procrastination. Anyways before I let myself get distracted from writing this, here are some quick tips for staying on focus.
One way which I find works especially well for me is telling other people what you plan to do, like set a goal for yourself and then mention it in a conversation to them. Every time you’re about to miss a day or drop the habit you’ll remember saying to them that you were going to do it on the daily and you’ll feel sort of compelled not to let them down, thus getting you back into doing it. I feel like blogging is going to be a bit like that for me, over time when my interest starts to wander i’ll just have to think back to the few likes or comments that pop up from time to time. I absolutely hate letting multiple people down so the more readers there end up being, the more dedicated to not letting you all down i’ll become.
Think back to what first made you interested in the thing, often those reasons why you began can end up being the sparks to reignite your passion for it. Also reflect on whatever time and effort you’ve already worked into it, acknowledge that effort. Why would you want to waste it? Time is precious and it’s sands are constantly slipping through our fingertips so don’t look back, keep at it. The best things in life usually require a bit of hard work so you might as well continue taking step after step on your journey, for you’ll get nowhere on your path if you keep changing directions. Or I guess in other words, just hold yourself accountable.
Reach out to others in that niche community, talk about what you’ve set out to do, see how they started out and how they kept at it day after day without break. Ask for their strategies, their dreams, talk about your dreams. We’re pretty much in this together and it only gets easier when we help each other reach for the stars.
Also as you may have noticed I often love to mention meditation, I mean why wouldn’t I though? It has so many wonderful uses. With meditation you can centre yourself and calm your mind. Once you’ve done that it’s much easier to take a non emotionally influenced viewpoint of your own priorities and see where the thing, whatever it is, stands among them. You could also meditate on why you keep getting off topic/distracted, maybe even clear the hangup stopping you. Or at least understand the steps you need to take in order to stay committed to it.
I feel a bit like I’m rambling but honestly this post is as much for me as for you. There’s also all of the generic ones we all know but seem to be bad at following through with; remove yourself from your phone/social media, remove yourself from any other distractions, keep a scheduled time to do it, take breaks, watch what others do and follow their examples, work in a clean/clutter free place, work in a well lit place, and of course let yourself fail, forgive yourself, and try again.
Anyways I don’t think I really have anything else to add right now but we’ll see what techniques I end up employing as I continue down this road. Stay at it, whatever that it is for you be it sports, writing, acting, engineering, dancing, anything. Whatever it is, I assure you it’ll get easier with time, and as it gets easier so too will you improve! As always, peace, love, and tranquil vibes. ^-^
Thanks for joining me! I’ve been wanting to write for ages but I could never seem to get the ball rolling, day after day i’d just waste my time thinking about it or other ventures and then getting distracted and eventually getting a whole lot of nothing done. However now that I’ve managed to plow through my mental hangups it’s finally time to begin this exciting adventure! There may just be short posts at first but I look forward to seeing how this goes, it’s a little daunting but i’m sure it’ll get easier with time. Especially the longer I consistently release content.
I’m planning to post stuff about poetry, travelling, odd perspectives, maybe some hippie vibes; all good stuff. Anyways please enjoy your time here! Peace, love, and positivity to you all!
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step ~ Lao Tzu