“This has been a healing outlet for me, therefore it has already paid it’s value many times over.”C.C.
“As thy social anxiety proclaims, YEET!”C.C.
“I apologize for not having a firm posting schedule but I can promise that i’ll always return to posting eventually. I am not perfect and I forgive myself that fact.”C.C.
“Just because I cannot see my progress, that does not mean it isn’t being made.—–All we have is time so allow yourself to build up; building takes time.”
Hey all! So this was a little side project I put together back during my first year of college, i’m not sure if it actually classifies as a podcast since it has a few different conversations cut together rather than just done in one take but i’m still pleased with it! I miss having such a wide variety of like-minded individuals around, but I know more will come into my life over time. ^-^
I’ve been fighting inside of my head for almost a full decade now, so you’ll see a lot of my old work follows this theme of trying to somehow understand just what everyone else saw about this life that I didn’t. Over the years i’ve found this audio to be inspiring to me as well as a few of the people whom I shared it with, so now i’ve decided it’s time to share it with all of you.
Wishing you all the most tranquil, loving, and peaceful vibrations possible,
I said we were a story for ever after
she said we were words in the wind
i had wrote her a song and now my heart I can’t rescind,
Those words, oh so gentle
Oh her faces when we sinned.
and it seems our love was rental,
wish I never touched your poison skin.
Your poison skin which burned my lips
with every word spoken,
as we connected at the hip
and now my heart is broken.
My golden gifts you parade like a token
from an emotionless conquest
with three words left unspoken.
I love you.
I don’t mean those words anymore
but they used to be true.
They used to be true before you emptied your drawer,
Don’t come here again
Your lies darken my door.
And don’t take that tone, don’t you fucking complain,
You knew what you were doing
Poison runs in your veins.
And experience has spoken, you can only cause pain.
Spreading your lies and your hate shall be your undoing,
that damn toxic lifestyle
you keep on pursuing.
And in the end, I hope it’s worthwhile
when your beauty has faded
and so has your smile.
Hey! So people seemed to appreciate the poetry back when I was posting it so I figured I’d upload some more ^-^ some will be happy and some shall be sad depending on what point in my life they were written, please treat my work kindly! ✨✌🏼
Peace, love, and tranquil vibes!
Why do you dream of travel? For me I have always felt that I enjoy being rooted, but I don’t want to be tied down if that makes sense? Like I want to have someone with me that I can use as my rock or an anchor if you will, like you have a good connection and work well together. But at the same time I don’t wanna be tied down to staying in the same physical location all the time, like I constantly want new scenarios and I enjoy meeting new people. There are so many different opportunities that can arise from travelling this world, like I don’t get how so many people just grow up and eventually die in their hometown or even like just their home state/province. Like just go out and travel people! There’s so much out there, so many different cultures, different types of food, even just like different forms of nature flora and fauna, and it’s just so incredibly gorgeous how diverse this world is.
I feel like a big problem for me in my life is that i’ve always felt the need for constant change. You know like when I was young I would just jump between friend group to friend group, I just had to change things up or i’d get bored you know? So it just made sense to constantly change up the group of people I would talk to. When I graduated high school I am pretty much left a good portion of my old friends behind and focused on making a bunch of new connections in college. A lot of those people just changed who they were or I changed and we just didn’t click like we had used to, however some of them I did a social experiment on just out of curiosity and that sort of went, well yeah let’s just leave it at a social experiment but most of them took the worst outcome they could’ve chosen so yeah; it was time for a change. I mean i’ve still got a bunch of people from back then whom i’m still super close with, and of course there’s also others that I grew up with as like childhood best friends and we just went down entirely different paths in our lives. But I don’t know, it’s kind of hard going a different direction from the people you usually would be around. I mean I know you’ll eventually manifest and attract a whole new friend group based on the new things that you’re now into but people are always sad about leaving one another behind. I mean we try not to completely lose touch but sometimes you just do, sometimes people just change differently overtime and that’s life. That’s how we grow.
I feel like I’ve been changing a lot lately so it’ll make sense to me if I lose some people in the coming times of my life. There’s been this sort of awkward energy lately between us and I know it stems from all my mediation type stuff since all of that has really been changing me recently and i’m beginning to give it more value in my life, like i’m really holding this vested interest in spirituality, meditation, being present in the moment, and all of this social media/content creation stuff. I’m just noticing some people’s attitudes beginning to change as they just don’t get it. Like I know that this has all been causing a wonderful positive upswing in both my life and mood lately and I know it’s beneficial to me, like this is the path I need to be walking down right now. And part of me somewhat thinks they might come to understand it, like they could get it, maybe..but I’m really not sure whether or not I want to stay with them long enough to find out. Who knows though, whether they’ll come to join me in the same state of mind or not. But I guess we’ll find out!
What’s your favourite thing about travel? For me I’d have to say I love the smells in the new areas, just listening to people talk in different languages every day, and I especially love the food, along with the smell of the food, and all the different spices that just waft into your nose as you walk along the street! I also just feel way more energized when I travel, like I’ll get up in the morning and walk over to the bathroom, open the window, lean out over the balcony, and take in a huge breath of fresh air! I don’t feel lethargic when I travel and wake up in the morning, like I don’t wait around my bed just lounging for a couple hours on my phone being like ‘I can’t get out of bed, ugh.’ No, when i’m travelling and that alarm goes off i’m up and out the door speedy quick, I’ll try and emulate that when I’m not travelling sometimes however that energy you get from travelling which helps make it so easy to get up and go places, it just doesn’t seem to hang around for very long.
Also I feel like I should mention that most of this post has been made by me just talking into the microphone of my phone and having it just use the speech to text function built into it. So I’m going to go back and correct as much of the grammar as possible (or at least as much as I notice in this quick skim through) because I can see it spelling some things incorrectly as I speak this paragraph out loud. So yea if I miss anything and you find a typo or weird bit of grammer, that’s why it’s there, probably. I mean I didn’t go to college for English but I feel like my grammer’s pretty good, I spent way too much time reading and writing for it to not be at the bare minimum, adequate. Anyways that’s it for today’s post! It would’ve been up earlier but Danny Reitzloff *moon hawk* started a livestream on instagram so I had to go and hang out there for a bit of course. I actually really enjoy writing out posts while watching someone’s live stream, it helps keep the inspiration coming and renews my beliefs in the power of content creation. But yea, that’s all folks! I wish you all so much peace, love, and tranquil vibrations!