“Superior leaders are willing to make a mistake and cut their losses. Be willing to admit that you’ve changed your mind. Don’t persist when the original decision turns out to be a poor one.”Brian Tracy
Loving you is like loving the sand in an hourglass
Silky smooth yet coarse as you pass through my fingers.
It’s like catching raindrops in your hands
for every bit you catch, so much more is slipping past.
We had a past.
A pretty good one too,
Yet I must be an hourglass
As I can feel you slipping through,
Your body running over mine
I guess we used up all our time..
I wonder if I’m still on your mind?
You’re on mine..
Every time I close my eyes I feel the touch of your lips, your mouth on my neck, your hips on my hips.
But then they open and I’m alone again, on my own again.
Looking at you through a pane of glass I can see that you’re happy.
Or you seem happy.
Either way I’m happy you’re happy or seem happy cause honestly as long as you’re happy it’s fine that I’m not.
You found friends and a direction
While I payed to get lost.
I disappeared into a sea of bodies and alcohol and way too hyped DJs
I did this on replay
And over again.
And while I’m getting better at hiding the pain
I can’t seem to stop meeting new people with your name.
I’m not sure if this is a sign that I’m supposed to forget you
I mean I’m certainly glad I met you
But now I need you to let me go,
For the final time
I loved you
Now it’s time for me to go.
Loving her, is like falling.
That weak limbed, newborn creature
Who’s barely graduated from crawling.
New pudgy limbs, weak and bruised from trying to walk.
Tear stained cheeks left over from the overflowing stormy rivers that is bawling.
Loving her, is like arguing with a toddler.
Get her food, wake her from naps, and coax her out when she’s stonewalling.
Every single fight, reverts to name calling.
She’s, she’s worth it.
See, loving her is like, it’s like falling.
It’s so absolutely effortless, right up until the ground hits.
As always people, keep spreading all the peace, love, and tranquil vibes you can!
Why do you dream of travel? For me I have always felt that I enjoy being rooted, but I don’t want to be tied down if that makes sense? Like I want to have someone with me that I can use as my rock or an anchor if you will, like you have a good connection and work well together. But at the same time I don’t wanna be tied down to staying in the same physical location all the time, like I constantly want new scenarios and I enjoy meeting new people. There are so many different opportunities that can arise from travelling this world, like I don’t get how so many people just grow up and eventually die in their hometown or even like just their home state/province. Like just go out and travel people! There’s so much out there, so many different cultures, different types of food, even just like different forms of nature flora and fauna, and it’s just so incredibly gorgeous how diverse this world is.
I feel like a big problem for me in my life is that i’ve always felt the need for constant change. You know like when I was young I would just jump between friend group to friend group, I just had to change things up or i’d get bored you know? So it just made sense to constantly change up the group of people I would talk to. When I graduated high school I am pretty much left a good portion of my old friends behind and focused on making a bunch of new connections in college. A lot of those people just changed who they were or I changed and we just didn’t click like we had used to, however some of them I did a social experiment on just out of curiosity and that sort of went, well yeah let’s just leave it at a social experiment but most of them took the worst outcome they could’ve chosen so yeah; it was time for a change. I mean i’ve still got a bunch of people from back then whom i’m still super close with, and of course there’s also others that I grew up with as like childhood best friends and we just went down entirely different paths in our lives. But I don’t know, it’s kind of hard going a different direction from the people you usually would be around. I mean I know you’ll eventually manifest and attract a whole new friend group based on the new things that you’re now into but people are always sad about leaving one another behind. I mean we try not to completely lose touch but sometimes you just do, sometimes people just change differently overtime and that’s life. That’s how we grow.
I feel like I’ve been changing a lot lately so it’ll make sense to me if I lose some people in the coming times of my life. There’s been this sort of awkward energy lately between us and I know it stems from all my mediation type stuff since all of that has really been changing me recently and i’m beginning to give it more value in my life, like i’m really holding this vested interest in spirituality, meditation, being present in the moment, and all of this social media/content creation stuff. I’m just noticing some people’s attitudes beginning to change as they just don’t get it. Like I know that this has all been causing a wonderful positive upswing in both my life and mood lately and I know it’s beneficial to me, like this is the path I need to be walking down right now. And part of me somewhat thinks they might come to understand it, like they could get it, maybe..but I’m really not sure whether or not I want to stay with them long enough to find out. Who knows though, whether they’ll come to join me in the same state of mind or not. But I guess we’ll find out!
What’s your favourite thing about travel? For me I’d have to say I love the smells in the new areas, just listening to people talk in different languages every day, and I especially love the food, along with the smell of the food, and all the different spices that just waft into your nose as you walk along the street! I also just feel way more energized when I travel, like I’ll get up in the morning and walk over to the bathroom, open the window, lean out over the balcony, and take in a huge breath of fresh air! I don’t feel lethargic when I travel and wake up in the morning, like I don’t wait around my bed just lounging for a couple hours on my phone being like ‘I can’t get out of bed, ugh.’ No, when i’m travelling and that alarm goes off i’m up and out the door speedy quick, I’ll try and emulate that when I’m not travelling sometimes however that energy you get from travelling which helps make it so easy to get up and go places, it just doesn’t seem to hang around for very long.
Also I feel like I should mention that most of this post has been made by me just talking into the microphone of my phone and having it just use the speech to text function built into it. So I’m going to go back and correct as much of the grammar as possible (or at least as much as I notice in this quick skim through) because I can see it spelling some things incorrectly as I speak this paragraph out loud. So yea if I miss anything and you find a typo or weird bit of grammer, that’s why it’s there, probably. I mean I didn’t go to college for English but I feel like my grammer’s pretty good, I spent way too much time reading and writing for it to not be at the bare minimum, adequate. Anyways that’s it for today’s post! It would’ve been up earlier but Danny Reitzloff *moon hawk* started a livestream on instagram so I had to go and hang out there for a bit of course. I actually really enjoy writing out posts while watching someone’s live stream, it helps keep the inspiration coming and renews my beliefs in the power of content creation. But yea, that’s all folks! I wish you all so much peace, love, and tranquil vibrations!
Well dang, there I was doing so well at making an obligatory post without missing a single day before this happened. Even with that cold I still managed to put some stuff out even though it wasn’t super long or fact filled. Well there’s the first of a new category of lessons, we all fall down sometimes. We all have lapses in priority or concentration. But that’s okay.
Sure we all fall down sometimes and sure some of us take a little bit longer to get back up, but the fact of the matter is; we always get up again. Falling down; failure, is practically a requirement of learning. Eventually you may get to the point where a fall feels more like a stumble than an actual fall! A point where by the time you’ve begun falling you’re already started on picking yourself back up again!
I’m back to travelling around a little bit, even though it’s still within the borders of Canada. Today I’m off to London! It’s a lot smaller than Toronto but it’s got great people, a lot of my high school friends went to college there, and it’s got some delightful little clubs! I’d recommend Lavish if you were in a clubbing mood while visiting, it’s got a much nicer and more welcoming vibe than most of the other clubs I’ve visited there. Plus it’s lgbtq+ so however you identify you should be welcomed with open arms!
I’ll be running around the city a bunch over the next few days so we’ll see if I manage to snap some cool pictures of the area. I make no promises though since I’m planning to be mostly indoors and since there shall be festivities I’m not sure how often I’ll have those quiet shutterbug moments. I’ll try to seek some of them out though, maybe a shot of a rooftop patio or something haha.
Anyways it’s going to be great getting back into the swing of things, I’ll be trying to once again post once a day so things should pick right back up! And if not than I blame my London friends and I’ll be back up to a regular posting schedule the second I leave that place! I look forward to getting back in touch with all of you and making this blog begin to grow again! I hope you’ve all been growing in whatever aspects of life interest you as well!
Peace, love, and tranquil vibes,
I’ve got an audition tomorrow morning and currently getting over a cold so right now I need to just head to bed and pray to whatever powers may be that my throat heals up overnight along with this stuffed up nose.
I’ll let you all know how it went afterwards, it’s the first of two opportunities I’ve got over the next few days. Keep searching out how to open those doors people! Keep advancing! Everyday, even when you’re sick, you’re still advancing in life. Don’t let time spent become a regret, never stop moving, evolving.
Anyways keep it real and do your best to live in the moment, we’re all divine beings, we’ve got this!
Peace, love, and tranquil vibes all,
You ever wake up one day and just decide that you’re going to become a new person? Like you came to a realization about your usual habits and behaviour that you weren’t too enthused with, so you just consciously decided to change? And then you find out it’s a lot more difficult than you thought it would be when the idea first jumped inside your head and you’re not sure you’ve got what it takes to truly follow through with that shift from the norm? Me too, well in a way. I recently came to the realization that I was stagnating. I enjoy laying around relaxing, playing video games, reading, procrastinating on actual important things. In school I would always leave assignments until the eleventh hour which somehow ended up infecting other parts of my life to the point where I was constantly aware of things like bills, my dwindling bank account, soon to expire licences which I could’ve renewed online if i’d been proactive, etc. To sum it up I was basically sitting on a track watching a train come at me while pondering over the best course of action, and then sidetracking myself from thinking about that action resulting in doing absolutely nothing until it was either move or get hit by the train.
So I eventually decided to quit deliberating and actually do something. Sure my usual extracurricular were fun but if i’m being blatantly honest with myself than they’re all various forms of escapism which I was using to distract myself from having to make major decisions or listen to the thoughts going through my own head. This had to stop. I was at a point in my life where the sheer number of pathways I could now take having graduated college was so overwhelming in number that I locked up and couldn’t seem to follow any of them. All I was doing was retreating to my books day after day, to social media, to Netflix, etc. I was aware that I was simply letting everything pile up as my bank account drained itself drier and drier, so then came the question; what was I going to do now? I couldn’t very well just continue spinning my wheels in place.
So I got up, I took a shower, ate some food, and started thinking. What was I good at? How could I begin doing something productive with my life without confining myself to a cubicle or taking up a nine to five job? I thought long and hard into the night making a list of all sorts of potential avenues for me to take before I finally came to another realization. This brainstorming was all well and good but it wouldn’t actually accomplish anything. I was just on the edge of falling into a pattern of formulating hypothetical jobs/pathways throughout life, planning them all out from step one to thirty five, and then..nothing. I would have nothing to show for the time spent if I never actually went and physically followed up on step one. So I did. Then I took another step, and another. Soon enough I found myself laying the groundwork for future success, but then I started thinking and second guessing. I began undermining my own abilities in comparison to others, which brought me to my third realization.
In this world the one person you should never underestimate is yourself. You’re capable of more than you could possibly have imagined so don’t doubt yourself, don’t doubt your abilities. Why would any other person who underwent the same or similar training to you deserve a higher place in your mind? Why get into that mentality of, “I’m still new at this, they’ll probably beat me for this position, I bet they’re way more qualified.” cause maybe they are maybe they aren’t. Chances are you’re just as qualified as that stranger, you’ve taken steps to get there today just like they did. Anyways the more I started trying to make that my mindset the more things seem to work out, in part i’d attribute that to other people subconsciously noticing the confidence/self-assuredness I began projecting. But also in part to ‘The Law Of Attraction’ which when you take out most of the technical terms equates to the universe will attempt to create/provide for you those things of which your thoughts are focused on. You could also just say if you truly want it and work for it, one day chances are you’ll get it.
So I began chasing it. Day by day I began working after my dreams, putting myself out there, talking to people, making connections. This blog stemmed from my habit of reverting to escapism in my spare time, after doing it for such a long time the sudden life shift has been a hard thing to keep ahold of. Especially when I love each of the things I used as escapism, now i’ve most certainly not quit reading and the like but I began restricting myself to a certain amount of time for it each day. During that newly freed up block of time every day I began writing. At first just out of boredom if i’m being perfectly honest but it very quickly transformed into a genuine interest and enjoyment in writing. That enjoyment soon turned into a bit of a feedback loop, I would have some fun writing out some sort of post, receive likes and comments, and with each and every like or comment I became compelled to write even more.
Eventually though I decided that I wanted a place where I could truly write, not just social media sites or writing contests. I wanted the ability to grow a blog and format it however I wished. Something that could transform my writing from being just another time filling pastime to a viable use of time. I like to think this is a viable use of my time. Maybe I won’t ever get anywhere with this blog, maybe I will. Regardless I don’t think I would’ve been able to forgive myself had I left this as a ‘what if?’ rather than following through with it as I did. How many times in your life have you had the question of ‘What if?’, how many times have you tried something new only to fail but still be glad you tried? For me the answer is “not enough.” and that is something I sorely feel needs rectifying.
Dream loudly, live peacefully, and spread those loving tranquil vibes,