Musing on Apathy.

All over the world people are dying, every second of every hour of every day. This is an undisputed fact. However i’m not sure if there’s ever been a time in our species’ existence in which our youth, were no longer impacted by news of such a nature. I come from the generation of people who spent every day growing up by being fed information, on all sorts of topics. However the main one (or at least the main theme) has always prevalently been death. We sat in cars on long road trips hearing about collisions and stabbings, watched firebombs fall upon our country’s enemies, and we bore witness to countless atrocities through either video or simply secondhand accounts of reporters/police.

Yet everyone is constantly arguing. They argue over if we’ve become desensitized to violence and this is a distraction, a red herring. What humanity has become desensitized to isn’t violence, it’s death.

When I first heard about the Coronavirus in China, it was in a meme…

That’s right…..

11 million people quarantined.

Unaware if they could be next,

or if they’re already a dead man walking.

This is a travesty.

Imagine what that would be like, just for a second.

You’re among 11 million people and there is a deadly contagion spreading.

You can’t run from it.

You can’t hide.

You can’t so much as cough for fear of being lynched by those who are so dedicated to staying healthy.

You don’t know what they might do to you.

There are people dropping in the streets.


Loved ones.

Everywhere is death and you can’t escape.

Now stop imagining that, you don’t need to imagine it because there are videos from reporters and even just kids with cell phones; of the very things of which I just described.

There are videos of people fighting in grocery stores as they stock up for self-isolation in the hopes of staying healthy. I’ve seen clips of people collapsing in malls, streets, aid centres, sidewalks, restaurants. I’ve seen clips of a huge quarantine zone in front of some sort of college/university/school. I’ve seen clips which upon translation reveal the speaker talking about how the hospitals are overflowing to the point that they’ve set up multiple zones/tent cities as makeshift hospitals.

When I mention this virus to anyone above 30 they get very worried or grim and you can see that they’ve got a little bit of genuine concern about the situation; maybe just because they don’t want it spreading over here but they’re still concerned.

My generation?

Yea, not so much.

We are so incredibly desensitized to death that not a SINGLE person my age truly cared. Half the time i’d receive jokes about population control and how we’ve been needing a good plague, the other half would just nod and be like ‘wow, that’s crazy.’ before going back to talking about some sort of game or show. I even had one person mention how they’ve killed more people in five minutes of PubG than Coronavirus had in two days, so it, and I quote ‘Really needs to step it up a notch.’

How did we get to this point?

When did we become so blind and cold to the suffering of others?

Can’t you all feel it?

Do you simply not care?

I wonder if we’ve always been this way as a species and that apathy used to be a part of what allowed us to survive. I wonder if by removing most forms of violence from our common lives (duals, hunting, unprotected/unsanctioned fighting, etc) we eliminated the outlet in which we would naturally learn to fuel the separation; direct the apathy. Could it be that in our peace filled era the outlet became dictated be pre-existing emotional attachment?

That is to say, could we happily slaughter millions if we never had to see it happen? We automatically equate them to numbers in our heads rather than individual people and actually have to focus and conceptualize in order to feel for them. We feel the pain of the idea, not the person. At this point it’s just more text on a page, more pigments of light on a screen. Just as much a fairytale as any work of fiction until the day it turns up on our doorstep; in our own personal life.

I don’t know where I was going with this article/post but I just couldn’t sit back without writing anything on this subject. I’ve always been very attentive to the silent atrocities happening across this world, ever since 2011 when the Egyptian government barricaded protesters of their president into enclosed spaces and then drowned them in tear gas, rubber bullets, and water cannons. Journalists from other countries were beaten by police, imprisoned, and then eventually driven to the edge of cairo where they managed to escape (this was Jack Shenker – a correspondent for The Guardian, who was with 3 other reporters at the time). This managed to stay out of the North America’s public eye for most of its duration and i’m not sure if it ever even aired on our television news networks. Their government had even moved to suspend internet and cell-phone service all across the country in order to stop them from being able to organize any sort of opposition! Luckily they didn’t go through with it and I received snippets of live feed from parts of the Cairo protests due to an internet friend, and this had a huge effect on me.

In the effort to keep shedding awareness on these events, I could almost say I’m relieved to hear about updates for this outbreak. As it means something will actually have to be done about it, unless they choose to use it as a way of blinding us to something else. They do say that the easiest way to commit an atrocity is under the blanket of another/if there’s too much noise, a whisper could simply slip right by.

Should our eyes be elsewhere? Or is that delving too much into conspiracy theorist area?

I do know that I had to write this post/was motivated to write this post by the amount of hushing up that’s already been happening around the Coronavirus. Some of those clips I mentioned, I couldn’t find even hours later on the same day. There are even a few accounts that simply went dark, and by that I mean were completely removed/deleted and made to look as if they never existed. a friend of mine tried making a list of all the clips so they could edit together a video on the virus, almost every video in that list has henceforth been deleted. The only way we even noticed that original posters of the videos were disappearing, was by looking up their usernames from the few downloaded clips and getting no results. Anywhere. Anyways that’s all my conspiracist talk for now.

Please stay safe out there everyone, sending peace, love, and positive vibrations.


Loving You Like An Hourglass.

Loving you is like loving the sand in an hourglass

Silky smooth yet coarse as you pass through my fingers.

It’s like catching raindrops in your hands

for every bit you catch, so much more is slipping past.

We had a past.

A pretty good one too,

Yet I must be an hourglass

As I can feel you slipping through,

Your body running over mine

I guess we used up all our time..

I wonder if I’m still on your mind?

You’re on mine..

Every time I close my eyes I feel the touch of your lips, your mouth on my neck, your hips on my hips.

But then they open and I’m alone again, on my own again.

Looking at you through a pane of glass I can see that you’re happy.

Or you seem happy.

Either way I’m happy you’re happy or seem happy cause honestly as long as you’re happy it’s fine that I’m not.

You found friends and a direction

While I payed to get lost.

I disappeared into a sea of bodies and alcohol and way too hyped DJs

I did this on replay


And over

And over again.

And while I’m getting better at hiding the pain

I can’t seem to stop meeting new people with your name.

I’m not sure if this is a sign that I’m supposed to forget you

I mean I’m certainly glad I met you

But now I need you to let me go,

For the final time

I loved you

Now it’s time for me to go.





Finding Supplementary Forms Of Income.

The number one form I can currently recommend is Fiverr. It’s a simple site that started out with the premise of you could pay someone $5 and they’d do whatever for you, be it write a resume, voiceovers, breakup with your significant other through video, literally anything really. These days it’s grown to have a wide range of prices but with my code you can get 20% off if you decide to get something. Even if you don’t i’d recommend signing up, it’s super easy for generating revenue.

Start a blog! It’ll take time and dedication but over time you’ll grow a following. Once you have that you can start using your blog to sell your own products, work for various brands as an influencer if you wish, or even turn it into a book. Honestly the possibilities while not endless are indeed numerous. I mean you can run ads on your blog but honestly they don’t generate much income at all unless you have an insane amount of followers and honestly at that point it would be much more profitable to just sell something yourself.

Set up a GoFundMe account or some other equivalent like Patreon! With patreon you can create different tiers of rewards that people can get by donating money to you. For some people with large following even a simple shout out in a video for $2 could be a tier with the more expensive ones being something like a personal video chat with the person for $50 (or really whatever prices they wish to make the different tiers.) A lot of YouTubers use this as a way to fund their videos allowing them to buy better equipment or travel around the world making vlogs about different interestings locations!

You could always become a sugar baby, I mean that’s not really my thing but I can get behind the mentality of having all your needs being met in exchange for companionship. Also who knows, maybe they’ll leave you something in their will in memory of time spent together.

Become a YouTuber! Honestly this is an extremely lucrative field right now if you can manage to stand out from the crowd, consistently upload, and steadily work to build a good subscriber amount. YouTubers have tons of chances to make money from monetizing their videos, doing product placement, playing ads before their videos, and the list goes on and on. Sometimes they even go on to use what they learned from youtube to create movies or web series, maybe break into the acting business. Honestly if you have the time, desire, honesty, and equipment to become a YouTuber I say go for it! Even if you don’t become famous you’ll learn some neat skills with editing and filming and who knows, maybe one day something will come from it all.

If you’re a super fast typer unlike me, than I would recommend transcribing. There are always available job posts for it that only require an internet connection to complete. Just listen to what’s being said and type it down as quickly as you can, if you really want to invest in this than get yourself a medical transcription license. Due to all of the complex medical jargon they have a much higher pay rate than regular transcribing jobs, although if you can speak multiple languages you could transcribe other languages into english which is also a higher paying type of transcribing.

Ever wonder who takes all of those stock photo pictures? Well nowadays there are multiple sites and apps that you can use to sell pictures you’ve taken as stock footage. They don’t pay you a huge amount but if you’re constantly bringing in quality of different varieties than this can quickly become a wonderful little side hustle. Some sites will take raw unedited photos so if you can’t edit, no worries, you’re fine. You can still sell photos!

There are a few other ways I can think of off the top of my head but I think i’ll save that for another post. I was thinking of maybe turning these supplementary income posts as a bit of a series, these days there are countless avenues out there. You just need to actually be aware that they exist and are actually valid options for generating income, sometimes we think ‘oh there’s no way to make money doing that’ but with such a large amount of consumers out there these days, there’s almost always a way to make money off of somehing.

On a side note what do you guys think about podcasts? I recently became aware that wordpress has a function which allows you to post podcasts to your site along with simultaneously posting them over on Apple Podcasts and the Google Play Store among other podcast hosting sites. I’m not entirely sure what I would discuss on there but the appeal is strong, i’m thinking maybe twenty minute podcasts around once a week for a posting schedule as that could give me time to brainstorm what to talk about. But who knows? I’m also considering starting out on YouTube myself but once again I need to consider content, I mean odds are most of it will be rather similar in nature to my blog but that’ll just make it even harder not to wind up repeating topics. Although I guess if they’re all on separate platforms it could be fine? Anyways those are thoughts for another time, as of right now it’s time for me to wish you all peace, love, and tranquil vibes!


Happy With What You’ve Got But Strive For..

My apologies for missing another day’s post! Some friends of mine dropped by for the night so we ended up losing track of time. Oddly enough we all woke up with slight hangovers.. I wonder why? On a totally unrelated topic, Peach Bellini is incredibly delicious. Like really, really dealicious. Of course mayhaps the cheap hipster beers also had something to do with it, maybe. ^-^

Anyways do you ever have those nights where you just sit in the dark all alone with your computer/phone/tablet, earbuds in or headphones on, and some beautiful music taking you out of your body. I love getting lost in the music. It’s like your laptop screen and it’s little glow become the only things in existence. It’s just so incredibly tranquil; I wish I could carry the feeling of it throughout an entire day. It would be so much easier to do anything without caring about others opinions, but alas that’s why we have the phrase social anxiety.

A friend of mine on instagram is often laughing or out having a fun time while livestreaming it all. For ages i’ve wondered how she manages to keep that smile up every day, like some of those days have to be a mask right? She can’t truly always be that happy. But then I was scrolling through their insta story and there was a certain quote she once heard that she attributes it all to, it’s so wonderfully simple, but powerful words nonetheless “If you want a happy life you just gotta be happy with what you got, but still strive for better.” It’s certainly not wrong, although it should also include meditation! 😛

As a species I feel like we need to become better at living in the moment. Like essential day to day mindfulness has become such a minor thing now that we’re all caught up with planning things months in advance and constantly rushing to things. We spend so much time living in the future that we’re becoming less grounded, needing our phones or at least something attention grabbing to be happening in order for us to truly be paying attention to, experiencing, and being present in, the moment. The now. I don’t remember who said it (although it may be from Kung Fu Panda) “The past is history, the future is a mystery, and the now is a gift which is why we call it the present.” Now that i’m thinking about it I feel like it’s Master Oogway, but regardless it’s a wonderful expression.

It’s a wonderful feeling to still see new people popping up regardless of my few missed days, I appreciate you! It’s about 4AM where i’m at so I feel like I should probably head to bed soon, I mean i’m not that tired but I feel kind of out of sorts so I know my mind’s exhausted. I love when friends drop by, but by golly people that don’t slow down and enjoy life along with the natural silences that come from a lull in a conversation are exhausting! Such is the curse of an introvert, craving other people but like a cat you’ll, after an indeterminate amount of time just be like ‘yep, these people exist but i’m just going to go chill over there with like a book or something.’ the isolation allows us to recharge our batteries you could say. I’ll crave physical contact but just casually chill in my room meditating and reading instead of seeking it, I mean not all the time, i’ll sometimes end up texting people and being enticed out with the promise of food haha.

Anyways keep spreading the Peace, Love, and those Tranquil Vibes everyone!