Quote Of The Day #17

“I’m still learning to love myself, and that’s okay. I’m still learning.”

~C.C.

Travel Talk And Constant Change.

Why do you dream of travel? For me I have always felt that I enjoy being rooted, but I don’t want to be tied down if that makes sense? Like I want to have someone with me that I can use as my rock or an anchor if you will, like you have a good connection and work well together. But at the same time I don’t wanna be tied down to staying in the same physical location all the time, like I constantly want new scenarios and I enjoy meeting new people. There are so many different opportunities that can arise from travelling this world, like I don’t get how so many people just grow up and eventually die in their hometown or even like just their home state/province. Like just go out and travel people! There’s so much out there, so many different cultures, different types of food, even just like different forms of nature flora and fauna, and it’s just so incredibly gorgeous how diverse this world is.

I feel like a big problem for me in my life is that i’ve always felt the need for constant change. You know like when I was young I would just jump between friend group to friend group, I just had to change things up or i’d get bored you know? So it just made sense to constantly change up the group of people I would talk to. When I graduated high school I am pretty much left a good portion of my old friends behind and focused on making a bunch of new connections in college. A lot of those people just changed who they were or I changed and we just didn’t click like we had used to, however some of them I did a social experiment on just out of curiosity and that sort of went, well yeah let’s just leave it at a social experiment but most of them took the worst outcome they could’ve chosen so yeah; it was time for a change. I mean i’ve still got a bunch of people from back then whom i’m still super close with, and of course there’s also others that I grew up with as like childhood best friends and we just went down entirely different paths in our lives. But I don’t know, it’s kind of hard going a different direction from the people you usually would be around. I mean I know you’ll eventually manifest and attract a whole new friend group based on the new things that you’re now into but people are always sad about leaving one another behind. I mean we try not to completely lose touch but sometimes you just do, sometimes people just change differently overtime and that’s life. That’s how we grow.

I feel like I’ve been changing a lot lately so it’ll make sense to me if I lose some people in the coming times of my life. There’s been this sort of awkward energy lately between us and I know it stems from all my mediation type stuff since all of that has really been changing me recently and i’m beginning to give it more value in my life, like i’m really holding this vested interest in spirituality, meditation, being present in the moment, and all of this social media/content creation stuff. I’m just noticing some people’s attitudes beginning to change as they just don’t get it. Like I know that this has all been causing a wonderful positive upswing in both my life and mood lately and I know it’s beneficial to me, like this is the path I need to be walking down right now. And part of me somewhat thinks they might come to understand it, like they could get it, maybe..but I’m really not sure whether or not I want to stay with them long enough to find out. Who knows though, whether they’ll come to join me in the same state of mind or not. But I guess we’ll find out!

What’s your favourite thing about travel? For me I’d have to say I love the smells in the new areas, just listening to people talk in different languages every day, and I especially love the food, along with the smell of the food, and all the different spices that just waft into your nose as you walk along the street! I also just feel way more energized when I travel, like I’ll get up in the morning and walk over to the bathroom, open the window, lean out over the balcony, and take in a huge breath of fresh air! I don’t feel lethargic when I travel and wake up in the morning, like I don’t wait around my bed just lounging for a couple hours on my phone being like ‘I can’t get out of bed, ugh.’ No, when i’m travelling and that alarm goes off i’m up and out the door speedy quick, I’ll try and emulate that when I’m not travelling sometimes however that energy you get from travelling which helps make it so easy to get up and go places, it just doesn’t seem to hang around for very long.

Also I feel like I should mention that most of this post has been made by me just talking into the microphone of my phone and having it just use the speech to text function built into it. So I’m going to go back and correct as much of the grammar as possible (or at least as much as I notice in this quick skim through) because I can see it spelling some things incorrectly as I speak this paragraph out loud. So yea if I miss anything and you find a typo or weird bit of grammer, that’s why it’s there, probably. I mean I didn’t go to college for English but I feel like my grammer’s pretty good, I spent way too much time reading and writing for it to not be at the bare minimum, adequate. Anyways that’s it for today’s post! It would’ve been up earlier but Danny Reitzloff *moon hawk* started a livestream on instagram so I had to go and hang out there for a bit of course. I actually really enjoy writing out posts while watching someone’s live stream, it helps keep the inspiration coming and renews my beliefs in the power of content creation. But yea, that’s all folks! I wish you all so much peace, love, and tranquil vibrations!

C.C.

Happy With What You’ve Got But Strive For..

My apologies for missing another day’s post! Some friends of mine dropped by for the night so we ended up losing track of time. Oddly enough we all woke up with slight hangovers.. I wonder why? On a totally unrelated topic, Peach Bellini is incredibly delicious. Like really, really dealicious. Of course mayhaps the cheap hipster beers also had something to do with it, maybe. ^-^

Anyways do you ever have those nights where you just sit in the dark all alone with your computer/phone/tablet, earbuds in or headphones on, and some beautiful music taking you out of your body. I love getting lost in the music. It’s like your laptop screen and it’s little glow become the only things in existence. It’s just so incredibly tranquil; I wish I could carry the feeling of it throughout an entire day. It would be so much easier to do anything without caring about others opinions, but alas that’s why we have the phrase social anxiety.

A friend of mine on instagram is often laughing or out having a fun time while livestreaming it all. For ages i’ve wondered how she manages to keep that smile up every day, like some of those days have to be a mask right? She can’t truly always be that happy. But then I was scrolling through their insta story and there was a certain quote she once heard that she attributes it all to, it’s so wonderfully simple, but powerful words nonetheless “If you want a happy life you just gotta be happy with what you got, but still strive for better.” It’s certainly not wrong, although it should also include meditation! 😛

As a species I feel like we need to become better at living in the moment. Like essential day to day mindfulness has become such a minor thing now that we’re all caught up with planning things months in advance and constantly rushing to things. We spend so much time living in the future that we’re becoming less grounded, needing our phones or at least something attention grabbing to be happening in order for us to truly be paying attention to, experiencing, and being present in, the moment. The now. I don’t remember who said it (although it may be from Kung Fu Panda) “The past is history, the future is a mystery, and the now is a gift which is why we call it the present.” Now that i’m thinking about it I feel like it’s Master Oogway, but regardless it’s a wonderful expression.

It’s a wonderful feeling to still see new people popping up regardless of my few missed days, I appreciate you! It’s about 4AM where i’m at so I feel like I should probably head to bed soon, I mean i’m not that tired but I feel kind of out of sorts so I know my mind’s exhausted. I love when friends drop by, but by golly people that don’t slow down and enjoy life along with the natural silences that come from a lull in a conversation are exhausting! Such is the curse of an introvert, craving other people but like a cat you’ll, after an indeterminate amount of time just be like ‘yep, these people exist but i’m just going to go chill over there with like a book or something.’ the isolation allows us to recharge our batteries you could say. I’ll crave physical contact but just casually chill in my room meditating and reading instead of seeking it, I mean not all the time, i’ll sometimes end up texting people and being enticed out with the promise of food haha.

Anyways keep spreading the Peace, Love, and those Tranquil Vibes everyone!

C.C.

Back At It!!

Wow I seem to be pretty bad at staying at this. I lasted for a few weeks but all of a sudden I realized it’s been a week since I blogged and I don’t really remember stopping. Well, I mean I do since I mentioned I may not be posting for a bit but I didn’t think it’d last an entire week! Regardless though, I had a pretty great trip. We went out to the clubs, danced the night away, stumbled home, and binged the first three seasons of Game Of Thrones. I refused to watch the show until now since I read the books and all of the character just looked wrong and I couldn’t stop holding each episode up to books and well, they were good but just couldn’t match up to the novels.

Anyways I think I might attempt writing a book. I keep finding myself reading away my hours in every ounce of spare time so my days are just slipping me by. I’m starting to wonder if i’ve read enough over the years to just up and write a fiction book. I’ve got a few different ideas but I can’t entirely decide on which one i’d like to start with. That’s my biggest problem, i’d get halfway through and then get super hyped up for a new book idea and start working on that one instead. It would just continue happening resulting in tons of unfinished books. Although then again I try to be rather positive and uplifting on this blog so mayhaps i’ll just take to it like a duck to water!

Even if i’m not a natural at it i’d like to continue working away on writing a book. There are so many worlds in my mind that i’d love to share with people, so many stories, so many lives. I’m not properly sure I can do them justice with my words but i’ll strive to get there someday! Did you know that the reason Stephen King has written so many books is because he just sat down and wrote a minimum of two pages a day every single day? That’s it. That’s the secret. Just keep working on it and eventually you’ll get there. Plus there are so many people out there who’ve taken the time to write books, it may not be the simplest thing in the world but by golly it certainly can’t be the hardest due to the sheer volume of new books published every day.

I think i’d like to write fantasy but what sort of fantasy should I write? Something kind of like a Miyazaki movie? Or maybe a bit darker like a Game of Thrones gritty realism type of fantasy? I just can’t decide, but i’ll get there! And of course i’ll keep you all updated on how the writing process goes, maybe even post the occasional excerpts.

Have any of you ever tried writing a book? If so than what’d you write about? Was it fiction or non-fiction? Was it just a short fanfiction type of thing or did you actually go the whole nine yards and go through finding a publisher and having your book pop up on the shelves of stores? I can’t help but feel that it’s so wonderfully exciting, writing books I mean. You’re literally creating worlds, populating those worlds, and then allowing others to bear witness to tales from that world. I’m just a huge fan of all the power found within the written word!

Anyways how was this for a comeback post eh? Maybe not the best since i’m still just talking about my personal life somewhat rather than giving ‘articles’ about different tips and tricks which have been done thousands of times over. Of course they haven’t been done by me yet so i’ll gladly put my spin on them but I don’t really want that to be the bulk of my posting. It just feels so impersonal on a platform where I feel the most moved to be personal, but they’re necessary and i’m always a fan of spreading information!

As always i’d like to wish you all peace, love, and some of those amazingly wonderful tranquil vibes!

C.C.

Train Travel

Don’t you enjoy that feeling of travel? The swaying of a train’s compartments as you barrel along the track, that mild panic of ‘Is this the right line? Am I going to miss it?’, followed by that relief of accepting that you’re on and locked in for your destination so correct or not that’s where you’re going. I love those feelings. They’re just so incredibly terrifying but addicting to me!

I love walking on to the train and discovering if you’re going to have company on your journey. Discovering what sort of person that company is going to be. Where are they going? Where did they come from? Will they join you in conversation or just plug some earbuds in resulting in both of you tuning the other out and just jamming to music. I love all of that, it’s just so wonderfully exciting to me. Especially when it’s not just localized to a single country because then you get strangers from all over the world! Oh the places they’ve been and the stories they could tell.

If anyone was wondering what spurred this latest post well, currently I’m on a Via Rail train straight out from Toronto. Why am I blogging instead of enjoying the window view you may ask? Well the lottery of partners passengers ended up with me having a rather demurely pretty woman who’s age I estimate to be within a couple years of mine, she’s got amazingly porcelain skin though so of course she needs to close the curtain over the window to stay out of the tanning rays of sunlight! I don’t mind when this happens by the way, it just makes the trip peaceful/productive in a different way than staring out the window and soaking up the sunlight, it certainly makes it so you have a smaller chance of overheating though!

I always seem to find interesting ways to occupy my time on trains. The last time I was on a train I was coming back from Quebec City and I was separated from my family sitting with this college student that turned out to be a criminal psychologist student, I remember she wasn’t a huge fan of the program though and had been talking about transferring at some point. Not sure if she ever got around to it though. Ah well.

Trains are a wonderful place for people watching in my opinion. There’s all sorts of people from different walks of life seated all around you, bi-lingual stewards/stewardesses walking up and down the train, there’s often not going to ever be a bland train car. Like you’re very, very, very, likely to never get on a train that’s only filled with people of a single demographic. It’s just not going to happen, the odds are astronomical.

Anyways, what do you all love about trains? Do you like their look? The feel of taking a journey by train? How it’s slightly old timey? Heck, maybe you enjoy that clickety clack of the train barreling over the rails. Whatever it is though, I feel we can all agree that trains are a pretty wonderful form of travel that both relaxing, and convenient.

Peace, love, and tranquil vibes,

C.C.

The First Wrinkle

Well dang, there I was doing so well at making an obligatory post without missing a single day before this happened. Even with that cold I still managed to put some stuff out even though it wasn’t super long or fact filled. Well there’s the first of a new category of lessons, we all fall down sometimes. We all have lapses in priority or concentration. But that’s okay.

Sure we all fall down sometimes and sure some of us take a little bit longer to get back up, but the fact of the matter is; we always get up again. Falling down; failure, is practically a requirement of learning. Eventually you may get to the point where a fall feels more like a stumble than an actual fall! A point where by the time you’ve begun falling you’re already started on picking yourself back up again!

I’m back to travelling around a little bit, even though it’s still within the borders of Canada. Today I’m off to London! It’s a lot smaller than Toronto but it’s got great people, a lot of my high school friends went to college there, and it’s got some delightful little clubs! I’d recommend Lavish if you were in a clubbing mood while visiting, it’s got a much nicer and more welcoming vibe than most of the other clubs I’ve visited there. Plus it’s lgbtq+ so however you identify you should be welcomed with open arms!

I’ll be running around the city a bunch over the next few days so we’ll see if I manage to snap some cool pictures of the area. I make no promises though since I’m planning to be mostly indoors and since there shall be festivities I’m not sure how often I’ll have those quiet shutterbug moments. I’ll try to seek some of them out though, maybe a shot of a rooftop patio or something haha.

Anyways it’s going to be great getting back into the swing of things, I’ll be trying to once again post once a day so things should pick right back up! And if not than I blame my London friends and I’ll be back up to a regular posting schedule the second I leave that place! I look forward to getting back in touch with all of you and making this blog begin to grow again! I hope you’ve all been growing in whatever aspects of life interest you as well!

Peace, love, and tranquil vibes,

C.C.

Fingers Crossed

I’ve got an audition tomorrow morning and currently getting over a cold so right now I need to just head to bed and pray to whatever powers may be that my throat heals up overnight along with this stuffed up nose.

I’ll let you all know how it went afterwards, it’s the first of two opportunities I’ve got over the next few days. Keep searching out how to open those doors people! Keep advancing! Everyday, even when you’re sick, you’re still advancing in life. Don’t let time spent become a regret, never stop moving, evolving.

Anyways keep it real and do your best to live in the moment, we’re all divine beings, we’ve got this!

Peace, love, and tranquil vibes all,

C.C.

The Habit Of Slacking Off.

If you’re like me than you’re always giving yourself lazy days, either due to mood or just lack of motivation. However the key to motivation is simply having No Zero Days; If you need a break day than that’s fine however you don’t need the whole day for just laying around. I suppose I should explain that a Zero Day is a day where you just don’t seem to advance in any of your core goals, like it’s a day of no improvement, a lazy day. Well I absolutely love having lazy days they really do detract from living in the moment unfortunately.

However, forgive yourself for being lazy. It happens but we should never dwell on it, dwelling just creates a negative feedback loop so don’t think bad on yourself for it. That was then, this is now. It’s okay, just forgive yourself and move on. So many people, myself included need to just start taking things one day at a time. There is no future. The future is a concept that doesn’t exist, there is always just the Now. The Happening. So work on just a few things today, for without starting there will never be any progress. 

Living in the now is such an easy concept but most of us struggle at putting it into practice. However I recently stumbled across a spiritual video that taught me an easy trick for it which has made things so much easier. When you find yourself drifting off from the now, simply ask yourself why? You wouldn’t have drifted unless something was subconsciously expected so what are you missing? Look around, breathe, take in the world around you. Usually it’s so simple to find once you start looking, and bam! You’re in the moment, no longer with your mind in the future going over potential never will be’s.

Honestly i’ve just been feeling super strong hippie vibes lately. Spent a whole day researching communes for shared living and it’s just such an incredibly interesting lifestyle to me, maybe one day i’ll visit one and vlog as well as write about it for you all. I would have to vlog since I fear i’d be unable to capture it’s beauty simply with my keyboard. Part of me is also thinking about learning more about Hinduism; i’m a big fan of Vishuddha Das, Dakota Wint, and Danny Moon Hawk so i’ve just been witnessing this like, glow of healing light and spirituality and it’s like, ‘I gotta get me some of that.’ you know?

These days I constantly feel like i’m prepping for things yet putting them off in exchange for more preparation and thinking which prompted me to make this post. For example, one day i’d like to be able to at least supplement my income through writing posts and posting videos. However i’m always just thinking/second guessing myself about any video I think of making, to a lesser extent with the blogging since I feel as if i’ve taken to this process of writing something out daily like a fish to water. So maybe what I need is to just take that leap and start making videos as well, then I began thinking of applying that to most of my life, leading to pondering on living in the moment. Mayhaps a slightly convoluted thought process but it doesn’t matter.

Anyways i’m starting to ramble and future talk rather than keeping an in the moment mindset so i’m going to round this post off here today. Keep living in the moment and keep expanding your knowledge every day! Keep striving towards your best self, whatever that may be for you!

Peace, love, and tranquil vibes,

C.C.

Update

Hey all so I know I just made a post about how I’m always going to hold myself to posting every day but I went deaf in my right ear last night and spent the day trying to fix it, now I’m just hearing an echo from that ear but at least it’s an improvement from what it was.

I’ll make an actual post after I’ve got this sorted. Take care of yourselves out there.

Peace, love, and tranquil vibes all,

C.C.

An Odd Perspective.

Isn’t it weird knowing there’s people out there reading your words and opinions? I mean I get that’s how it usually is with social media posts but this just has a different feel, you know? I don’t usually do research for future social media posts either, as opposed to this. I remember, that one of my first posts had me mentioning that i’d talk about odd perspectives at some point. Well I feel like tonight/today is a day for one of those posts.

Have you ever stood on a street corner waiting for the lights, and become consciously aware of every single person around you? Followed by becoming insanely hyper focused on every single little movement your body makes but every movement feels wrong, even if you’re just standing there? It’s not a fun experience. I find social anxiety aided me in becoming really good at reading body language just so it could turn around to start misreading stuff whenever the anxiety hits.

Have you ever walked down to a huge exciting event all on your lonesome? Your whole world feels slightly muted, tilted. There’s a film over anything you hear somehow distancing it and the people pass by you in slow motion on their way to the spectacle. You arrive after following the families and teeming throngs of people just to wait around standing up, surrounded by random groups of people all talking to each other. This goes on for about twenty-eight minutes, some random dj no one has ever heard of does a short set. Making it through that and clapping politely even though you’re impatient for the main event. The fireworks go off. The sky is so beautiful, the world just falls away. Then it’s over. You’ve fallen back to earth with the other awakening people as the spell gets broken with lack of an encore. Everyone goes home. You go home. The families walk past and around you. You’re a solitary stranger in this sea of communities. You slip off to home, unsatisfied but in a way still content.

I love to watch the world wake up. Just sitting on your porch watching the sun rise, the gentle wind hugs your skin. You can see everything start to breathe, the birds begin to fly overhead. A solitary car speeds by, yet the world is still. It’s like a moving painting, or at the very least art. The rustle of leaves in a gentle gust of wind, the morning fog burning off as the sun continues to rise. The world turns gold and crimson, with just a dash of orange. Everything just feels so incredibly peaceful, you’re at one with the world. But at the same time it makes you feel like nothing is real. There are no people moving aside from the distant cars, it’s like being in a twilight zone which now that i’m thinking of it is probably part of where that movie got it’s name. I like plugging into the world that way, I always feel so refreshed afterwards regardless of usually having had to miss out on some sleep. It’s even better with a tea, beer, cider, or some sort of quiet smokable object. You don’t want to break the tranquil morning silence, and with a drink you can meditate on the warm feeling in you chest and the warmth from the sun on your face. Recharge your spirit.

Have you ever managed to separate yourself from that constantly talking voice in your head that we usually call our thoughts? If you try a little bit and meditate on forcing it to repeat a mantra, you’ll notice that you’re still observing. In that moment the thoughts almost feel separate from that greater sense of ‘you’. I’m not really sure what one would call that, it’s not an ego death but I guess in a way it’s an ego separation from your conscious thoughts? I’m not sure what it’s properly called but it’s an absolutely amazing experience. Feeling that divide, that autonomy it has. The way it twists and struggle to form itself into different words or thoughts than those of the mantra you’re making it repeat, you can feel it fighting you, almost as if it were alive. Which I mean technically it is because it’s part of you but dang it’s a pretty odd perspective that’s also really neat!

I wonder where we go when we zone out. Like those moments where you’re in a really long car ride so you just put in some earbuds and stare out the window listening to music until you arrive at your destination. It’s like your mind goes blank and you’re just out of it for the entire ride, in a trance. But definitely not asleep. Sometimes I like to think of that simulation theory, which basically says since everything is connected to our brains than what’s to say we’re not all just floating in some jar as just a blob of brain being fed information for a life. Moments like that are just holes in the matrix. Another neat theory is that you could be reliving every single moment of your life right now thinking it’s for the first time, hence why you might get deja vu sometimes. And by reliving I meant you’re dying and this is your life flashing before your eyes. It’s theorized that time would almost slow to a crawl as your brain tried it’s best to just relive everything in those few moments before the light fully leaves your eyes. It’s obvious that some of those more inconsequential moments would get fast forwarded in order to maximize whatever it deems important or a ‘core’ memory.

I think those are all of the odd perspective for now but I might make this a running thing. Maybe have one or two odd perspectives per week? I love odd perspectives, most of the time they’re just an amazingly artsy way of looking at the world. Always seek to look at the world through new eyes. There’s so much to see depending on where you look in from, so clear your mind, open your heart, and see. See those beautiful moments of tranquility that exist in daily life, seek them out, enjoy them to the fullest!

Spread the love, peace, and chill vibes,

C.C.