~A Cigarette Daydream~

Everyone disappears don’t they?

Especially the ones who say they won’t.

You were a cigarette daydream

Warm, fading, and small.

I’m not sure when I became addicted.

But running after you was like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands.

That is to say I had to watch you drift away.

Calling after with smoke filled lungs.

Wishing you would stay.

.

Or maybe I was the smoke.

The daydream.

For I’m losing sense of what is real.

Drifting through life.

Trying to feel.

Something..

One thing?

Anything?

.

Isn’t it beautiful how the wind dances?

In the trees and their leaves, the way it shifts and prances?

I envy the wind.

It’s here until it just..isn’t.

No one cries for the wind.

.

It’s so.

So cold.

I can’t feel my body.

Except for the smoke.

Within my lungs.

Oh, how it used to flow from our tongues.

Those smoke like promises.

To last a thousand suns.

I guess.

They couldn’t even stand.

A single.

Night.

.

I’ve lost myself.

And I.

I can’t see you.

Not anymore.

You’re gone too.

Or maybe here.

But just looked on through.

.

I exist right?

I exist.

I exist.

I exist.

I-I..

.

.

.

So I noticed a lot of people enjoyed The Volcano, this poem was obviously a bit of a different breed from it in terms of both writing style and emotion but I wrote this a year or two before The Volcano when I was in a fairly bad place of my life. Luckily with meditation among other methods I’ve managed to crawl out of that headspace to become the wonderful peace loving, tranquil, hippie soul that I am today. I think in the end I just decided, I don’t care about what career I follow in my life. I didn’t care about following a career. I wanted to find and chase happiness which led me to searching out every possible avenue I could do that from, so I did.

I’m still searching. But the more I travel this world, the more people I meet and places I go? They generate seeds of happiness in my soul. Soon once they’ve sprouted i’ll be able to carry them with me everywhere! Can you picture it? Won’t that just be bliss! Keep chasing your happiness and keep chasing your dreams! You’ll get there, I believe in you. ^-^

Peace, love, and tranquil vibes people,

C.C.

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